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2007-03-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

MOVED. to http://brainlessoboist.blogspot.com cause of the recent weird stuff going on about the hyphens and stuff in the URLs. heeh. i hope this makes it, better? heeh. see youall there!

~ting.

2007-03-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

OHGOSH KOALAS ARE LIKE THE ADORABLE-ST THINGS ON EARTH OKAY. I MEAN. JUST WATCH THE VIDEO AND YOU'LL JUST KNOW IT.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22417

[i think too many things have happened, i cant blog anymore.]

2007-03-20T20:08:00.000+08:00

i couldnt bear. i couldnt bear to watch it die. i really couldnt. but i did. and i was holding it. when it died. i couldnt bear to see it suffer. it could barely breathe. it was struggling. it was suffering. and i could do nothing to help ease its pain. all i could do was hold it. hold it close. and remember those moments forever. it spent the last half hour of its life in my hands. it would flip, roll. to find a comfortable position. it was breathing so hard, and so fast. it looked like it was in pain. it couldnt bear the pain. the poor thing. before it died. it tried to scream. its mouth wide open, but no sound coming out. it tried three times. and then it just. stopped breathing. stopped moving. its suffering ended. it would be in its happy place. somewhere theres no more suffering, no more sadness. i dont know why i was crying so badly. i dont know why im still crying now. but i guess, thats how it is. it was infected. for so long. it was probably suffering too much. but i miss it. i miss my little hamster. i miss holding it against my cheek, feeling it squirm around. feeling its soft warm fur brushing against me. feeling its little life in my hands... its all gone. i hope i dont have to watch any other thing die... its just too heartwrenching.

2007-03-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

im down with a cold or something. and i feel pathetic and my head hurts. and i dont feel like going for band tomorrow. i guess thats how i always feel during the holidays huh. hahah.

my nose is blocked. and im coughing up phlegm. and its disgusting. i hope i dont faint tomorrow.

ahh this is getting horrible. why am i sick every holiday? so saddening. mum says its stress...

i hope jiejie gets better.

~limting (:

2007-03-10T21:08:00.001+08:00

hahah. somebody wanted me to blog something right.? hahah. okay. i will.!

band today was. tiring! i was so sleeeeepy larh. cause mr o was going on and on about sunrise and sunset and moonrise and moonset and sunrise and sunset, and moonrise and moonset, and i guess you get the point. that kinda reminded me of the song. 'the rains came down and the floods came up, the rains came down and the floods came up, the rains came down and the floods went up, but the house on the rock stood firm.'

ms s kinda held back oboes and flutes. and i was too overly stressed out. and she 'renamed' section 9-10 as 'the part where the oboes keep making mistakes.' joy wasnt here today, was really scary larh, cause its like left two of us, and when one of us stops, the other is left all alone. its kinda scary larh, and i became really soft. i think the reed is dying larh. but thankfully, ms s is giving us new reeds! hurray! i hope she remembers though. hahah. getwellsoon, abi and qi~!

hmms. i shall stop here. (:

~ting(:

2007-03-02T21:31:00.001+08:00

i have found out the names of the two saxophone juniors who help with the sec1 books! viola and clara. hahah. so cool la. at least now im not so busy. had to give out two sets of scores today. so messy la. [and it had to be raining... no. POURING.] had to be running along wet corridors, and the rain drowned out the sounds made by the sections so i didnt know where they were... and the scores CANNOT get wet, and it was so terrible. and there were missing scores. and i had to bind a conductors score [i hope it doesnt fall apart] omg. what if it falls apart? ahhhhhhhH~

tomorrow we have a full day of band practise again. cant believe it man. id probably sian diao lorh. i hope it doesnt rain again. its terrible when it rains. makes the whole atmosphere moody. and more condensation in the instruments...

theres a sinking feeling in my heart. dont ask me why. something just seems to be wrong.

i want to go sit outside my window again... but its all wet... and everyone is at home, so i cant. haii. shall go be stupid now.

2007-03-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I'd wished I disappear. Run away from this place and head to somewhere where there's solitude and serenity. A place that shuts me off from the world. A place where I'd get to be all alone. Let running around the rain and watching the sunrise and set be part of my daily routine.

But a wish is all it is. theres no such place, is there? maybe i should fly to the moon. id be the only human there! but i wont survive. maybe that would be better. heaven should be a wonderful place... right?

and yet there are things on earth i cling to. like music. like friends. like family. maybe id see all these where i go to.

i just need to be happy. i just need time, and space. something, no one here seems to care about giving.

and there seems to be so many rules around. like no computer after 9.30pm. infact, being IN BED AND ASLEEP BY 9.30PM.

ohwells, isnt that just how life is?

things are too different. i dont adapt that well you know.

2007-03-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

You lift me up
when i am down
you lead me straight
not round and round

you give me hope
and light the way
and definately
brighten up the day

you make me smile
when i am sad
and tell me the truth
whether good or bad

you helped me stnad
upon my own two feet
and give a smile
to anyone i meet.

you give me life
and joy and love
and peace descends
just like a dove

when im with you
everything comes clear
my eyes can see
and my ears can hear

three short minutes
and ill have to part
but you know i still love you
deep in my heart.

-----------------------------------

poetry is back. nice eh? wrote this one during the summary exam. there always seems to be alot of time during english exams. (: hahah. i didnt do too well for english btw. i feel like a big fat failure in life. its just plain evil la.

i just cant believe it la.

2007-02-27T10:37:00.000+08:00

hellos people.

depressssssing week behind us, we're alot better now yeah?

i mean. yeap. its just results right? i learnt that from dionnet. its over, its done, theres nothing we can do to change it. and so, whatever happens, ill just, well, whatever la. and learn from the past, I HAVE TO STUDY AMATH LIKE ALOTTT. and i have to practise loads. JIAYOUS MAN. i shall go practise now.

have fun people, and dont get depression. its bad for health.

2007-02-26T09:35:00.000+08:00

AHHH DID YOU ALL WATCH THE NEWS YESTERDAY? OUR SCHOOL WAS ON THE NEWS.! but apparently its cause some person bought over the land that our school is on... so that means, our school has to move. or something like that. eeps. its just plain evil okay... why would the school agree to letting whoever it was buy the land anyways? ahh. shall just wait for the announcement tomorrow or something.

hmmm. so boreded. maybe i should go do something else. blog again later, if i find the time! (:

2007-02-25T12:59:00.000+08:00

TODAY WAS SO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN -jumpjumpjump- maybe apart from the end, but anyways.

as you all probably already know, today was the mass exchange between cedargirls, stnicks, fairfieldmeth and my school bands! we heard sunrise a million times [exaggeration] and had HUGEHUGEHUGE SECTIONS! we still didnt beat clarinet on normal terms, but we STILL had a HUGE section that we never ever had before! 11 people. wow. hahah.

heard some nicenice songs today, the choice pieces for each band, so nice la... and i have NO IDEA how to write the report, cause theres only so much there is for us to play in sunrise... ahh whateverrr~

i just got my songs into my pda! finally. after so longlonglongggg. hahah. WHEEE~ grselections is such a nice piece.

ahh i shall go off now. see you all next time.

2007-02-24T13:05:00.000+08:00

its been such a tough week... getting back results and everything. syf draws near, too near.

everyone's getting stressed up. and stress is contagious. so the more stressed out we get, the more stressed out other people get, and the more stressed out we get. its a vicious cycle. REALLY vicious.

but my mum told me, stress isn't a physical state, its just how the body responds to challenges. and if we can control our body, we can control our stress. and i guess, well, i guess she's right. its just results, and theres nothing we can do to change what we've gotten.

letterwriting is back. but now i only write letters at home (: hahah. i guess, somethings just can't change right? ohwells. haii.

i dont want to think anymore. im tired of thinking. really tired.

and im inspired by this simply lovely song that cherylng sent me the link for! i shall post it HERE! go listen kkay? hahah. its so nicenicenice. makes alot of sense too. really helped me out alot, hope it does the same for you.

band performance... on thursday was alot better than last weeks. and i mean ALOT. even mrs w said we improved. so encouraging~ didnt know she could be so nice you know...

and mep was so fun. cause laura and i ganged up against pao. WHEEE~ hahah. sorry pao.

and i lost my nametag, so i have to wear that stupifying masking tape thing. YUCKO. its so BIG and UGLY [no mari, im not referring to your handwriting, its just the tape you know. EEE. cant stand the new school rules.]

and tomorrow! we have this MASS EXCHANGE thing. Fairfield methodist, cedar girls, and st nicholas girls. yep. their bands are coming over to practise sunrise together! (: OMGOMGOMG ITS GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST SECTIONALS EVER! 11 people. AND ALL OBOISTS! so fun! i dont think id ever get to see 11 oboists all together ever again man. hahah. and there will be like 50+ clarinetists, and 40+ trumpeters. and WOW. the whole band strength will be insane. cant imagine what sunrise will sound like.

haha. okay. my 45 minutes is up. saddening yeah? YES. I AM LIMITED TO 45 MINUTES OF COMPUTER PER DAY BECAUSE APPARENTLY THATS WHAT BILL GATES IS DOING TO HIS CHILDREN. and my mum decides to follow in his footsteps. ohwells. i better go before she doesnt allow me online tomorrow. id probably have loads to say about the mass exchange. see you people! (:

i miss you... ALOT. like ive never missed anyone else ever before... ... ...

2007-02-18T16:02:00.000+08:00

heyylo!

its like. a day before chinese new year. and im utterly sleeeeeeepy. but i cant sleep. dont ask why.

there are so many feelings stuffed inside of me, and i cant concentrate on anything at all. and i dont know what to do. and i want to DIE.

and i dont want to get back my results. cause i know im failing alot of things.

im falling asleep. but i dont want to sleep. and when i want to sleep, i wont be able to.

and i think ill sign off before people start getting confused. bye.

oh. happy chinese new year.

2007-02-16T15:42:00.000+08:00

heyylo people! its finally the end of concentrated ca week. -sighs with relief-

now we just await the results. ahhh. felt the sudden urge for poetry again. during the... emath test? yeah. emath test. i shall go back to poetry. NOW!

gdnight people. and, be prepared for the results.

love you!

2007-02-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

i think today was a big success!

maybe not band, but the party was wonderful. (: thanks shiying, laura, dionne, huirou, zhiyin, lianping, melissa, bertram, yihui for coming today. especially lianping, mel, bertram, cause youall had to like go out of your way to make it here. like skipping tuition and band and stuff like that. REALLY SORRY. but anyways, it was really nice seeing all of you here, and showcasing the talents you have. (: its really lightened up my mood alot! (: GOSH I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!

and i thank God that there were more people showing up at the party even though so many people couldnt make it. it was really wonderful today... and i think even though literally everything was impromptu, it was still a nice experience for all of us. the band performance. hahah. even though so many people were missing, we still had requests for an encore! just the thought of it. wow. it must have been good enough! (: im sure you all had fun yeah?

really sorry for breaking down during band earlier today, its just that there were so many things on my mind, and its really been a stressful time for me. thanks to the people who stayed by my side, i managed to survive the week. and i hope you help me survive the next too. (: you're really wonderful.

and i hope you had a wonderful time too...

2007-02-07T13:51:00.000+08:00

Wrote another poem today... bored during the compre summary test thing. dont know whats come over me, im suddenly, just plain crazy. Ahh. Phantom of the Opera... i SO WANTED TO GO WATCH. only problem, they dont have any good seats left. sad eh? thought id still have time to save up... ahh. ohwells. ill go crazy watching videos and all then. and listening to the music from YouTube. hahah. and pray hard that POTO comes back to Singapore sometime soon! (: such lovely songs... ahhh. bio test tomorrow. and chinese! ahh! and next week is concentrated CA week. BAD idea. scrap it man. isnt it just plain the same as having just one ca thingy? only we get MORE stress cause the teachers think we DONT have CAs, so we get little tests now and then. AHHH! CANT STAND IT! im too stressed out man. and im doing so badly for emath. and amath. and PHYSICS. ahhh. im going to FAIL! AHHHH.! and its almost as if we didnt have enough trouble to start with. haii.

my emotions are running wild... saturday is coming... approaching. so fast. hahah. i hope it will be fun... and i hope you band people arent the only ones there! hahah... would be kinda pathetic performing for yourselves right? ahhhahahah. ting is crazy. dont mind her yeah? let her laugh it out. its called dispensing nervous energy! hahah. and i have every right to be nervous. cause concentrated CA week is coming. and im going to DIE. for emath, amath and physics. the used-to-be-my-strongest subjects. ahhh. so saddening. ANYWAYS. mr peh is back! hahah. seem to be unable to forget the ATP thing cause of him. hahah. so funny. adenosine triphosphate. right? OHMYGOSH I ACTUALLY SPELT IT CORRECTLY! hahah. phascolarctos cinereus is staring at me. so ADORABLE la. ((:

hahah. i love phascolarctos cinereus! and i love the person who gave phascolarctos cinereus to me! (: ((: (: wheeeeeeeeee~ okay. i shall go continue studying bio.

the cell wall is made of cellulose to provide the cell with rigidity and strength. the cell wall is fully permeable, but prevents the cell from absorbing too much water because too much water in the cell will result in bursting. the cell wall gives the cell shape and protects the cell from harmful external influences [this looked ALOT shorter in my notes.]

the plasma membrane is partially permeable. the charge, type and size of the particles affects its entry or exit from the cell. the plasma membrane is predominantly made up of proteins and lipids. it is always moving and has receptors to perceive information to be sent to the nucleus.

cytoplasm / cytosol is the site of biochemical reactions. it is in a sol-gel state which allows the cell to move or change shape [this sounds utterly disgusting.] cytoplasm supports the organelles in the cell.

nucleus is the nerve centre of the cell. it controls and directs cellular activities. inside of it is the nucleolus, which is responsible for forming ribosomes, chromatin threads, which contain deoxyribonucliec acid which is used in the reproduction of cells and the genetic make up, nuclear membrane, and nucleoplasm.

smooth endoplasmic reticulum [ER] makes lipid-based particles and detoxifies potentially harmful substances.
rough ER makes protein-based particles. [ribosomes found on the ER make protein]
ribosomes can be found on the tough ER or suspended in the cytoplasm.

golgi body is the further modification centre.

information made raw outside the nucleus is sent to the ER for modification. it comes out as a vesicle and is sent to the respective locations [excretion at plasma membrane, or further modification at the golgi body.]

vesicles contain everything that a cell needs or does not need. [storing sugars which may not be immediately used, transporting products from one part of the cell to another, containing digestive enzymes, or to help the cell expel excess water.] called vacuole in plant cells [central vacuole. the membrane of the vacuole is called tonoplast]

mitochondria breaks glucose down into ATP [!] adenosine triphosphate. it has a double membrane [inner membrane called cristae] and is used to make energy more usable [smaller amounts to reduce wastage]

chloroplasts are an example of plastids [organelles containing pigments]. it contains chlorophyll which captures sunlight for photosynthesis.

starch grains which can be found in the cytoplasm of plant cells are the food of the cell.

plasmodesma are gaps in the cellulose cell wall that aids movement between cells.

ahh. cells are driving me crazy. gosh. i think my handwriting is crazy. i wrote SO MUCH. ahhhh!

similar cells form tissues.
different tissues form organs.
different organs form organ systems.
different organ systems form ORGANISM!

organ. the nice 'piano' with draggy notes! (: ahh. MEP is coming soon too.

cells are small to provide larger surface area to volume ratio.

specialised cells are drilled so into my head, i cant get them out. just like the spelling for phascolarctos cinereus. and adenosine tri-phosphate. [ATP!] hahah. and i shall go phantom myself. if not id be dreaming of huge cells coming after me to kill me. mwahahah. typing is fun. and typing helps me learn! (: yayness.

2007-02-04T13:11:00.000+08:00

I miss all the times we had together... last year, when we were still in the same class... oh the irony. last year, when we COULD stay in class, we never did. and now that we cant stay in class, we're signing a petition against that rule. hahah... its so interesting yeah? anyways. i dont like that rule. i mean. if we're not allowed in the canteen, and we're not allowed in the classroom, and the library is always hogged by people who didnt finish some homework or another, THEN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? ahh. i feel rebellious. (: too bad (:

2007-02-04T12:23:00.000+08:00

I totally miss Japan. and i totally miss the fun times we had together, as a section, as a group. and its just been a wonderful experience for me, but as much as i miss it, i know its impossible to live it all over again... so for now, ill just keep remembering, all the memories made there...

2007-02-02T13:16:00.000+08:00

wheeee.! i have blog music again (: and its so fun.

and im learning to like this kind of music! (:

2007-02-02T11:00:00.000+08:00

heyyyylo! hahah. i was just writing my OBS personal recount assignment thingy, and i just realised i had so much to say about OBS! hahah. its so interesting you know. i hated obs while i was there, and now its nothing but beneficial? hahah. one page per day... its amazing. hahah. anyways. emath test tomorrow. and CA week is coming up! i shall stop coming online! gosh its so stressful now, so much homework! i scared myself la. i thought geog timed assignment was tomorrow. can die one.

didnt know sec3 was going to be so much stress, but turns out, it IS. so ohwelllllls! i shall go write physics notes. or chem notes now... see you people!

loving you~

2007-01-31T14:02:00.000+08:00

haii. super disappointed in my results... i did so badly... so saddening la. i barely passed anything at all... im so scared for week 7... its CA week...

and im scared for tomorrow. the new juniors are reporting for band practises already! what kind of juniors will they be? will they be dedicated? will they commit? will they be good, better than us? will they dao us? will they turn up for all practises? there are so many questions. cause there are so many kinds of people. i hope that they will be nice people...

i hope i can socialise without looking like a total crazy laughing person. cause i think thats what my new junior thinks of me. heh. ohwells. i shall just look forward to that then. i shall be the crazy senior who doesnt know anything at all... (: i bet she'll be able to guess my nickname...

have fun peoples, i shall go sleep. im tired...

2007-01-30T13:33:00.000+08:00

Let the music heal your soul
Oh if someone writes a song with a simple rhyme
Just a song where is feeling show
And if someone feels the same about the simple song
Oh sometimes you can hear them sing
Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also, it also heals your soul

Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control
Let the music give you the power to move any mountain

Oh if someone plays piano with some simple chords
So melodic and endearing too
And oh if someone plays guitar with the old piano
And maybe you can hear them sing
Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also heals your soul

----------------------------------------------------------------

music has healing properties! hahah. im just plain amazed. love this song so much (: hahah.

and im looking forward to 10th February! hahah. we're doing a small band thing at my house for a valentines day party, and im scared cause im arranging a score... and its getting weirder and weirder... hahah... i shall go write another poem or something. (: to relax myself a bit!

physics formative test tomorrow. im NOT prepared. i mean. i did so bad for e math, and for chem, and for a math. haii. im not performing well this year! have to work even harder. and get more prepared! physics, here i come. [i think my better science subjects are bio and phy. i hope im right?] haii. i hope i can do better for maths! i shall ask laura to teach me.

i shall end off with another song. [just dont know which one. i shall go search...]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tears in Heaven
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down; time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
'Cause I know I don't belong, here in heaven

-------------------------------------------------

2007-01-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

im BACK from OBS! i wouldnt say i loved obs, but yet i cant say i hated it either. i mean. yeah it was bad with the wet tents and disgusting hygiene, but i learnt so much about myself. so many things that i never knew about myself before. its like just amazing and all. i never knew that i could bear to sleep in a wet tent. maybe i was just too tired to think? and i never knew that i could do business ON THE BEACH. maybe it was just too urgent? and i never knew that i could sleep without bathing after utterly drenching myself in sea water. maybe because there was no other choice? i never knew i could miss my home so much i could cry till my nose gets blocked so much i cant breathe, and just looking back at the lights in Singapore would make me cry. maybe i was also scared cause it was dark? and i never knew that i could survive in complete darkness just because i held hands with the two people beside me. maybe because they were a source of warmth, comfort and help? and i never knew that obs would be such a memory for me.

i actually dreaded obs. i didnt want to go. at all. but now as i look back. it made new memories, helped me bond with my classmates, see how they are like inside. how enthusiastic and fun they really are, and not just the stoned silence that we see in class everyday cause everyone's stressed out by school stuff. hurray for 3e6 man. we have to be more enthu! like 3e9. they are so super hyped up la. heard their cheers? i mean. they have MULTIPLE cheers. we dont even have one. JIAYOUS YEAH?

hyper-ness is running out. isotonic drink isnt doing its work anymore... im getting sleepy... i shall go sleep. syf rehearsal tomorrow... i have to be ready! gdnight people. have fun! (:

2007-01-22T12:10:00.000+08:00

leaving for PULAU UBIN like tomorrow. and its kinda freaky. im going to be away from home for another 5days! eek. anyways. my bag is finally packed. and its so huge la. and im bring a lot of stuff which my sister actually brought for HER obs. hehheh. so funny la. they ask us to bring the matchbox and fire starters is like one box per person like that, like we will use so many?! and i was like so scared that my clothes get ruined by mud and stuff like that, im wearing weird clothes. and im so NOT bringing my 2e8 class tee cause im not going to risk spoiling that [sentimental value yeah?] and and and. no sleeping bag either, cause i WILL dirty it and i WILL have a hard time washing it when i get back. and im wearing my brothers sandals. and his shoes that he wears out to the beach that kind one for the water activities. and two of the shirts im bringing are his too. [hahah. the joy of having a younger brother who is... well... bigger than you and has clothes that no one else would ever wear ever again which is too small for him so i can take it. (: ] hahah. its so funny la. (: i was like telling my mum that i didn't want to spoil my clothes, then she just opened my brothers drawer, grabbed out two shirts and threw them at me, ask me to go try, then i just packed it in. hahah. and now. im physically ready for obs. but not mentally. i still can't believe im going off for obs like tomorrow and i wont be back till like. Friday. eek.

anyways. Saturday is the syf rehearsal! at the Singapore conference hall there. and im going to be so dead tired la. so im going to need all the strength i can get! wheeee~ i think ill just go simply hyper on Friday so that i will survive till Saturday. hahah. [and Mozilla Firefox insists that i spell Friday with a capital F. and Saturday with a capitol S. and even Mozilla Firefox has to be capitalised. this is annoying.] hmm. dont know what else to say.

2007-01-20T18:48:00.000+08:00

logged in to blogger actually with something to blog, but unfortunately i forgot what i wanted to say. ohwells. i shall slowly start working on school work cause obs is like. on MONDAY and i havnt packed anything yet. and im so NOT excited about going. a week away from home!a week away from you. as if the japan trip wasnt enough... ohwells. since its compulsory and this is the last time the schools letting us go, i think i should make it a point to go and be happy there right?

eek. so NOT looking forward to swimming in mud. and the HEIGHTS. and the trust. and i think ill fail miserably. classbonding. classbonding. thats what ill see it as. and i hope we really DO bond. cause bonding is important if we want to reach our class goals yeah? hahah... OHGOSH JUST REALISED SOMETHING! hahah. the higher the sky, the higher we fly. the higher the height we have to climb up to during obs, the EASIER THE FLIGHT! (: thats nice to know i guess.? hahah.

hmm. band these few days hasnt been all that good. i mean. yeah we know syf is coming soon. but working us so hard and making us all sick and all that wont help anything at all! yes i think im getting sick. my throat is burning. and my head is spinning. ahhhhhhhhhh~ AND I HAVE TO CHANGE SOMETHING IN MY TEMPLATE. i shall post this and go change it now. since im utterly crapping anyway right? hahah. see you all. soonishhh.

love you! (:

2007-01-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

i just feel like plonking myself down on a bed. grab a pillow and scream my lungs out before crying my heart out. ill become a total alien. brain-less, lung-less and heart-less. and i don't really care. cause thats just plain what i want to do.

im drained. both physically and emotionally. and im deeply hurt. what has come over you? i've never seen you this way before. i know you're not perfect, but... you weren't this bad last time. i never expected something like this to ever have to happen right before my eyes. its just hurting. we're all trying to help you. and what you're doing? throwing temper tantrums at us. and i know you wont see this blog post. cause i bet you don't even know my blog URL. but i don't care. i just need to let it all out. i... i... i care so much about you, you know. we all care so much about you. i REALLY don't want to see you being sent to a boys home. i don't want anything bad to happen. i want you to be that little brother i always had. i don't want to see you change. why? what made you this way? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? you see me cry, but you never knew i was crying for you, did you? i don't want to have to give up on you. so go back. become the person you were. for me? please?

2007-01-19T06:57:00.000+08:00

hello peoples. hahah. im sitting in the computer lab now. its like. im remembering like last time, when we used to come in here everyday. i mean. sec1 seems like just yesterday. and now we're in sec3. haii. the last time i came in here to play, is just so unbelievable. we used to stay back everyday in school for fun. now, we have no choice but to stay in school, cause we have like all kinds of weird things every single day. like. band. and. now even MEP is after school. hahah. its kinda interesting la. how we stay back in school every single day of our lives. hahah... and. and. i saw a report in the newspaper. IN section i think. that it proves that people who stay in school longer live longer. so i guess we will live long! hahah... and now im back in the library board... retarded afterschool 3hours every tuesday... and tuesday was supposed to be studying day! hahah. ohwells. i guess im like stuck in it now. cant get out of it.
and i think i better go off now. MEP is starting in about 3 minutes. byebyeeee! see you later (:

2007-01-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ HELLO EVERYONE! hows school been? hahah. i was supposed to be mugging for the math test tomorrow and the chem test on Thursday, but quite obviously, im slacking my head off. hahah. its weird... that everytime we happen to stay in the canteen, we'd see different people. its always the sec1 batch that stay back for funlaughterpeaceandjoy. and now i know why in sec1 we never ever see the sec3s or 4s there. hahah... and now, as we rush to squeeze out the most of the 24hours, the sec1s still can waste their time wandering around the school. hahah. its kinda interesting huh?

was writing the Chinese compo about 我认识这样的一个人 and i think it went quite well, considering i didnt stop and stone for too long. hahah. didnt understand the first question, so i was left with one. dont know how many thousand times i flipped through the dictionary. I MUST IMPROVE MY CHINESE VOCABULARY. MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST. and i will read the chinese newspaper now that mummy has decided to be nice and buy them on wednesdays and fridays cause they have specials then. like 星期五周报. and 大拇指. hahah... and to think i hated reading chinese stuff like 知识画报 and 知识报 hahah... and i see chinese in my blog! hahah. *remembers my failed attempt of a chinese blog* wheee.

maths tomorrow. im prepared to fail. heh heh. i should get myself into all the remedials! then i can learn moremoremoremoremore! wheeeee~ hahah. i think im mad. do you think im mad?

and i was writing the reading journal just now and i think i was very 不耐烦ed. cause my handwriting was crazy messy and not small, and i was pressing so hard on the paper that it almost tore. and i was writing quite... weird things there. hahah. about gaming. hmmm. anyways. wont waste time online gaming anymore, unless its to de-stress. (: and hmmm. im borededybored. cause no one's talking to me online. sadsadsadsadsad. heh. and i dont have any more emails to reply! waaaaahhhh. PCK is on now... final season or something. why do they call it final season? just leave it hanging or something and pick it up again when they feel like it! hmm. AND I SHALL LOVE ITALICS. just realised how nice it looks la. heeheee.

AND OBSOBSOBS IS COMING SOONSOONSOON! im excited, and yet im scared. obs... there WILL definately be more ghost stories right? and then it will be dark right? i shall bring something there. to hug so i can get to sleep. and by the time it comes back, it will be... ermm. brown! hahah. cause i HEARD from someone, we arent allowed to bathe or something. which is icky and disgusting, but OHWELLS. at least its not like NS or something. hahah. and to think i wanted to sign myself up for NS. stupid me. poor guys dont have a choice yeah? hahah. NS is like a LONGLONGLONG OBS. only icky-ier, and disgusting-er and there would be tooooo many guys. and i will freak out and die. heh.

and my sister wants me to buy jellybeans for her. cause she's addicted to POIFULL. hehheh. i shall have to go day&night to buy them for her then. forgot how much it costs though. oh and we barely had a dinner. it was charsiewpao and some chicken&cucumber kebab-like thing. mmm... i like charsiewpao. (: its NICE. (: the chicken was hot. and the cucumber cold. and it tasted... weird to say the least. but anyway. since when was anything ever normal? hahah. (:

ohwells. back to minesweeper i guess. (: and maybe thinking up another 10things to say to 10 people. or find some quiz somewhere to do (: see you all next time i remember to blog! (:

love you all!

2007-01-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

heyylo people out there!

hahah. yes. dionne. this is for you to see. cause, you apparently think im going to ditch my blog? hahah. wheeee~ hahah. according to a poll that our el teacher did in class today, VERY FEW people use the comp on a regular basis. i mean. NORMALLY, the whole class would. in ours, its like. half?! hahah. and i feel so... ermm. weird? hahah. its almost as if everyone else is studying like crazy and im just. slacking my life away. ohwellllllllllllls. i feel like going utterly crazy and slapping everyone. hahah. but i guess id never get the chance to do that? HAHAH. but anyways. it would be fun. (:

rainrainrainrainrain. thats all its been doing the whole week. and for the next week... as the prediction goes... hahah. and the water pipe burst. and school cut our water at 2pm. so we had NO WATER! hahah. it was so cute la. they made the announcement and everyone was too busy laughing. cause all the teachers were like telling us, want to go toilet, GO NOW.! hahah.

hmm. todays monday. meaning tomorrow's tuesday. meaning! MEANINGMEANING THERES CHINESE COMPO TOMORROW. and meaning! MEANINGMEANING IM GOING TO DIE TOMORROW. saddening yeah? heh. too bad for me i guess. hahah. OHMY. suddenly all the squiggly red lines underlining my "typos" disappeared. thats freaky. almost as freaky as all the ghost stories msng told us. eeek. im still freaked out man. i want to do one of those write-to-anonymous-people-and-make-them-guess-who-im-writing-to thing again! its so fun. and its so easy! hahah... i shall. soon enough! look out for that la kkay? hahah.

i think i shall post. before all the rubbishyrubbish comes out cause im too hyper now.

love you all! (:

2007-01-06T12:38:00.000+08:00

heyylo people!

today we went to the singapore discovery centre... its like totally different from the last time i went [which was a longlonglong time ago...] and the freaky thingyy that i was so scared of last time isnt there anymore! hahah. and they have this robot thing. little george. and then this laura so funny la. she asked little george if he had a girlfriend, and he said 'no, would you like to be my girlfriend?' in his cute little gay voice. hahah. and he's like 10years old. and then when he asked how old laura was, she said 43!!! hahah. imagine la.! hahah. so FUNNY. i was like explaining it halfway and then burst out laughing. SO FUNNY! HAHAHAH. little george wants laura to be his girlfriend. tsktsktsk la.

hahaha. and the bus ride was reallyreally long la. and the bus went by a few familiar streets in jurong... brought back memories...

and then band started at 2.45pm. band was bad. ms s came like when we havnt even started tuning/warmups yet... and she was in a terrible mood... and we were sent out. and everything was bad. and im scared. cause theres band tomorrow too. and IM GOING TO DIE LA OKAY?

expectations are on the rise. i dont know what to expect anymore... ... ...

2007-01-02T08:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

every new year brings about new opportunities, new friends, new everythings.

we're leaving 06 behind... and moving on to 07... everything is going to be different. its weird looking down at the toolbar place and seeing the date there 01/01/2007. i mean. ITS 2007 ALREADY. hard to imagine. im actually like. officially sec3? gosh im going to die.

wheee i like this font. but i dont even know what it is. hahahah.

im so crapping. BUT I DONT CARE. its like my last chance to crap right? in two days we're back in school. scaredddddddddd! ):

ohwellllllllllllllllllllllllllllls. i shall go busy myself with other things. minddead. cant think.

2006-12-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

heyylo people!

yes i know i havnt been blogging for like a month. so. hahah. the latest news...

the year is so ending... its like. 2days and its 2007. remind me to do a newyear post okay? hahah... [firefox is irritating. they keep doing that red underline-y thing. and its kinda irritating. cause its everywhere. even on the word firefox. hahah.]

hmm. ohyes. my hair. is SHORT. like reallyreallyreally short. okay. not really really short. just. short? hahah. i hope im still recognisable la. so sianned. so few people are online now... but ohwells. life goes on right?

im afraid... afraid of the new year... and the challenges that it might bring... im scared of being in a totally different class. im scared i dont fit in. im scared... im scared of anything that may happen...

oh and my tooth is hurting alot now. cause. i just finished rootcanal treatment like. yesterday. and the dentist double anesthetic-ed me. and anesthetic HURTS REAL BAD once it wears off.

and we're playing sunrise. and toccata sounds weirder than ever. and i almost fell asleep.

ohyeah. and we went to japan as a band. 8th-15th December. it was like cold. reallyreally cold. it was fun though. [it didnt snow... ): ] hahah. sometimes when we breathe-d out there would be mist. hahah...

hmm. talking about band. IM SCARED FOR THAT TOO! syf is next year... stresssssssssssss.

ohmy. im just wondering how there can be so many paragraphs. i think theres something wrong with me. [were my brain cells in my hair?]

~ting.

2006-12-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

haii...

now i understand why ms s is always so disappointed in us... its just cause the seniors were SO MUCH BETTER. i mean. sometimes, we dont understand why she keeps comparing us to the seniors right, but then... they really do reach way higher standards compared to us... i mean. just LISTEN to the songs they used to play... and its like... haii. now we're stuck playing horrible boring and whatever~ songs...

we really have to work like WAAAAAY much harder if we want to be playing those songs that the seniors used to play... SO NICE CANNNN. i waaaaaaaaant. ):

2006-11-28T15:23:00.000+08:00

heee. guess what. im NAUGHTYYYY! mum, dad, davy, joyce and daniel just went to orchard road in uncle leonards car. and left me with the computer. jayne's sleeping... and im supposed to be off. but i dont care, cause today, is my naughty day. and naughty days dont come often... heeeheeee(:

off to japan in... 11days? im scared. really. i dont know what to expect there...

I miss you. & im starting to hate mondays?

2006-11-23T13:16:00.000+08:00

List up to 10 things you want to say to 10 different friends. Do not state who these people are.

1. The first thing i have to say to you is. THANKS. cause that mainly sums up literally everything that i actually have to say to you. be it coming up with [really weird to say the least] nicknames, trusting me, and just plain talking to me. thanks for the memories that we've made, and the impact you've made in my life. and yeah. its a wonderful feeling being able to come home, KNOWING that theres going to be someone i can tell the days activities to... hmm. how many was that? oh lets just say i dont know how to count yeah? hahah. I LOVE YOU! (:

2. You've been around before i was born, and ive known you all my life, and yet, i dont really KNOW you. Thanks anyway, for teaching me how to set up blogs, email addresses and stuff like that... Sorry for the times we have those really dumb fights over things that we as ******* are supposed to fight about! And thanks for always teaming up with me against **** and ***** about the handphone thing (:

3. To the 40 of you. Its been TWO WHOLE YEARS since we've met each other yeah? Together as a ***** we have conquered many obstacles. and now, as we seperate in accordance with our interests and strengths, i still hope we remain in contact yeah?

4. To the 4 of you. Though its true we've fought alot the past two years, thats what friends are for right? Thanks for strengthening me, showing me life isnt supposed to be all-good and no-bad and stuff like that. Its been a great blessing getting to know you all! keep in contact! (:

5. To the 5 of you. We share one thing in common, though not all of us love it... To the *******, thanks for teaching me, and being patient. To my *********, hahah. yeah. 4years together, and we're only halfway through... and i know im not someone easy to get along with yeah? hahah. thanks for bearing with my nonsense. (: To the *******, hahah. 3 more years... work hard yeah? cause. yupps. next year... hahah... thanks for trying your best! cause its the effort you put in that matters. Sorry i always ask for so much and keep forgetting that we're all human...

6. To you! hahah. secrets are many yeah? (: secrets are FUN! hahah... thanks for managing to resist the strong urge to just TELL ON ME yeah? and yeah. even though you're always so ** *** ***, i know that inside, you're still just like any other person... thanks for letting me rant, scream, shout, slap, punch, p*** you! hahah. thanks so much! have fun next year yeahh? JIAYOUs! (:

7. To you. heeheeeeee. my DEEEPEST, DARKEST secrets, you know about. hahah. and you've been another person who hasnt told on me! hahah. thanks for helping keep my secrets yeahh? hahah... thanks for helping me feel better when im like. annoyed/disappointed/sad/anythinglikethat. thanks for the wonderful memories which are more to come (:

8. HAHAH. just thinking of you makes me want to laugh. you're a wonderful person (: even though now we arent really talking much anymore, ill cherish those memories we had when we were still in primary5... sitting on the steps of that BIGBIG house... and melting icecream, and eating it... and moving up one step each year... and i remember playing with barbie dolls till late, and not wanting to go home, and purposely taking forever just keeping it so we get to stay that tiny bit longer... hahah. that was fun (: thanks for the memories! and hopefully you dont forget me when you become the top student yeah?

9. You have been a wonderful friend, though what i said of you really probably hurt you alot. I guess i just had misconceptions, and i didnt even think things through before telling others about it. im really sorry for all that... forgive me? thanks for always helping me through tough situations, and caring so much about me... (: i appreciate it alot. (:

10. To the 2 of you. Last, but never the least... (: you're the ones who brought me into this world, and kept me there. And encouraged me to help others when they need help. and bringing me up to be who i am now. I know that id never have survived my journey in life so far without your help & guidance. sorry for the times i let you down, and for the times i said i hated you, and for the times i just stormed off, and never told you where i was going, or what i was going to do. thanks for the patience (:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And im hoping that others may be inspired to do this as well. cause, well. i just realised how much im not appreciating people... so i guess, well, this lets me think things through, and remember what all these people have done for me...

2006-11-20T09:41:00.000+08:00

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace
Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Inspired---

Dont know whats going on... and i just need all the help i can get... leave me... just leave me be... just let me think... thanks.

2006-11-16T13:38:00.000+08:00

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. today was so FUN okay... marianne's GULLIBLE! heeeheeeee(: and AND. the wafflecookies were DELICIOUS! (: and even though half the day i spent walking around like some crazy person who doesnt know where she's going... IT WAS FUN! (: i loved today. THANKS EVERYONE WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE (: <333

believe i can cook now? (:

2006-11-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

TODAY is all a hushhush... (:

heeheeeeeeeeeeeee(: this is so EXCITING. and i baked COOKIE WAFFLES. and we're eating it with WHIPPED CREAM and PEACHES and MARSHMALLOWS. im telling you, its DELICIOUS. and ofcourse i know. i made it (: heeheeeeeee. its going to be so YUMMYYYYY! hahah. and im sure there'll be another update later when i come back (: so see you later yeahh?

2006-11-15T06:38:00.000+08:00

heeheeeeeeeeeee.

was supposed to get streaming results today, BUT GUESS WHAT. the school pushed it back. so im only getting my results on friday... ):

an accident just occurred near my house. so scary. the whole front of the car is smashed. and i think the driver is trapped, cause he cant get out of the car... so scary...

ohwells. accidents happen yeah?

hmmmm. cant remember what i wanted to blog already. ohwells. this is probably some update just for the sake of updating, cause im kinda neglecting my blog yeah? hahah. (:

i cant wait.

2006-11-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

I was asked to do this by LAURA

1) How old do you wish you were?
does it really matter how old i wish i was? i mean, not as if i can become younger or older as i wish right?
2) Where were you when 9.11 happened?
i was in that tower. singing 'i will survive' heh. ofcourse im lying la. (:
3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
i... i.. get angry for a moment. and then. yeah. tell the whole world that the machine is spoilt!
4) Do you count yourself kind?
i hope so?
5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
tattoos are a bad idea. pain to put it on, pain to take it off. unless its those temporary ones where you have stuff like. 'made in singapore' those given out in the national day packs. (:
6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
japanese! cause im going there. and i am so going to have a hard time conversing if i dont understand japanese!
7) Do you know your neighbours?
know as in 'hi' 'bye'. knew my Jurong neighbours alot better...
8) What do you consider a vacation?
hmm. that would be a day or two of fun, laughter, peace and joy. NO STRESS!
9) Do you follow your horoscope?
nope. (:
10) Would you move for the person you loved?
move as in what?
11) Are you touchy feely?
ermm. no.
12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
its possible. ANYTHING's possible (:
13) Dream job?
teacher (:
14) Favorite channel(s)?
hahah. hmm. they're all nice la. (:
15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
weekends mean crowds. so id stay home (:
16) Showers or Baths?
showers. make it quick as possible (:
17) Do you paint your nails?
ocassionally.
18) Do you trust people easily?
nope.
19) What are your phobias?
crowds, heights, insects.
20) Do you want kids?
dont know yet (:
21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
yeahh.
22) Where would you rather be right now?
in HEAVEN. thankyou.
23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
someone~ (: hahah. and my darrling blanket!
24) Heavy or light sleeper?
VERY light.
25) Are you paranoid?
on certain things
26) Are you impatient?
quite... oops ):
27) Who can you relate to?
people who are just like me.
28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
no problems against it.
29) Have you been burned by love?
burned?
30) What's your favorite pick-up line?
dont have one (: no need for one that it (:
31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
dont have a mobile...
32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping.
33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
no cellphone. (:
34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
the sofabed which is mine to sleep on (:
35) What color shirt are you wearing?
PINK.
36) Most recent movie you watched?
ermm. ?
37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
CLOTHES. wallet. and. and. a piece of paper. a VERY special piece of paper (:
38) What color are your bed sheets?
currently... green and white.
39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
none. they're all in the room (:
40) What's your favourite part of a chicken?
the FEATHERS. the fluffy feathers (:
41) What's your favorite town/city?
cant i like country?
42) I can't wait till..?
7th December, 10pm
43) What did you have for dinner last night?
noodles
44) Do you own a gun?
no way. it'd be illegal!
45) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
lowfatmilk.
46) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
hmm. probably still in Singapore.
47) Last thing you ate?
suanmei!
48) What songs do you sing in the shower?
i dont sing in the shower. dont stay long enough in there to sing (:
49) Last thing that made you laugh?
being called babykoala?
50) Worst injury you've ever had?
p2, cut my head on the ceiling fan.
51) Does someone have a crush on you?
ermm. ermmm. ermmmm.
52) What's your favorite candy?
hmmm. thats a tough question.
53) What song do you want played at your funeral?
AMAAAAAAAAAAZING GRACE.
54) Five random people to do this?
Anyone la. (:

2006-11-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

today. i brought daniel to the birdpark. its changed so much since the last time i went there! i think i killed my 1GB memory card by stuffing a million and one photos in it. and yes my camera is weird. one pic can be like 2MB. which is like BIG and MAD. and the videos... take ETERNITY to send. gosh i so love BIRDS OF PREY. they are so. strong. and... they have this GREAT determination... to get food, to survive. its just so amazing... (:

the ride there... was amazing too. cause yeah. to get to Jurong Bird Park. ]im talking about non-drivers here.] you have to go to Boon Lay MRT station. which is like. that MRT station... that one i always had to go to when i leave the house... so its like... memories (: wonderfulwonderful memories... of the 2hr trip to GMPS. of the long rides to visit grandparents in PasirRis. of the really rare trips to the library. of my grade3-4 piano lessons... of almost everything that happened within the first 11 years of my life. and then. you take bus 194. which. in that temporary bus interchange. IS RIGHT BESIDE BUS SERVICE 242! and yeah. thats like one of the two bus services that went to my old house... yes. one of the TWO. i was so tempted to go back there... its going to be sold really really soon. ):

ohwells. birdpark. nice place now (:

i still dont get you. why? why? why?

2006-10-30T13:27:00.000+08:00

just realised how long it has been since i last blogged. the school term has ended, and all we have left of each other, are the picture's we've taken together. its been a wonderful two years that we've pulled through yeah? thanks everyone, for all the wonderful memories. im sure life's going to be so different next year, not seeing the same wonderful bunch of people together as a class. and not seeing the people who are changing schools.

i know ill be holding on to all these wonderful memories... all through my whole life, cause YOU people were there, to make them along with me. whether they're good, or they're bad, they'll remain in my heart. forever.

Knowing You
All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now compared to this

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You're my all, You're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love You Lord

Now my heart's desire is to know You more
To be found in You and know as Yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You're my all, You're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love You Lord

Oh to know the power of Your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like You in Your death, my Lord
So with You to live and never die

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You're my all, You're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love You Lord

2006-10-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

first day of results... im disappointed in myself larhh. i was so careless... and i guess i didnt practise well enough. im going to need a piano teacher... i cant survive on my own.

AND I SOOOO LOVE ATIFA. she so RAWKS. if not for her, id have... failed. THANK YOU ATIFA!

so. this is what it all comes down to. i guess i wont make it to triple science. doesnt matter much. does it? i would never have made it in the first place. haii. cant wait for thursday. and i hope my math results dont disappoint me too. i am ready. for the rest of my results. maybe i shall see them in school afterall. i have to sign that stupid marksheet. that STUPIDSTUPID marksheet. i HATE marksheets.

131006

2006-10-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

hellos. today. i went. TO THE BEACH! yayye! i love the beach. and i love the camera. not that i love the camera facing me. I JUST LOVE THE CAMERA. cause i can take wonderful, inspiring photos.

whoots. had a great time there... rawked. and i wrote so many messages in the sand... i love the world.

i love the way the water laps up upon the sandy beach... the way it washes away thoughts i write in the sand... the way my secrets can be hidden... i love the way the sand sifts through your fingers, dropping back to the beach... where they join the millions of other grains of sand, waiting for the time when the waves come, and carry them out, out to the depths of the seabed... or for the wind, to carry them away, somewhere else...

2006-10-13T05:08:00.000+08:00

the. exams. are. over.

I CANT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT ANYMORE! THE EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER. but now. the problem is. im bored. and im scared. for saturday, for tuesday... for... everyday. im scared for band. im scared i cant blow. im scared for tuesday. cause. its. results day. i have a feeling ill break down and cry or something. ohwells. maybe id just. DIE?

oh. and i have a chopstick in my hair. hahah. i just learnt how to. bun it with a chopstick. hahah. its really messy. but it keeps the hair up. so ill leave it that way. (:

im so bored, that i studied chinese today. amaaaazing.

and im bored again.

oh i shall go read my blog archives or something. see how much ive changed over... the past 4 years. hahah. seeyouallsoon! (:

happy afterexam boredom.

~bRaiNleSsOboeist-WMAPT //*

2006-10-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

Tears

Tears are streaking
from my eyes
down my face
which i lift to the skies

why do i still cry
why do teardrops fall?
for its already happened
so many times before

i should be immune
i shouldnt care one bit
and yet i am still here
so overwhelmed by it

it cant possibly still matter
after all ive been through
all i asked is that you showed me
love so pure and true

you couldnt even do that
what more can i expect?
all i can do is lie back,
and silently take your threat

threats against my freedom
threats against my rights
i guess i shall just lie down here
and switch off the lights.

A Friend

One who makes me happy
whenever i am sad
One who is always with me
even when im bad

One who really knows me
not the mask that i am in
One who understands
my true feelings within.

One who knows when to talk
and when to just be there
One who'd walk with me
anytime, anywhere.

One who'd let me learn
to walk on my own two feet
One who reminds me that God is there
when i with troubles meet.

Thank you for being a friend to me,
a friend so pure and true
and i hope that i have been
the same kind of friend to you.

Happy

Giggling, clapping
two shining eyes
a mouth that is upturned
on both sides

laughing, shouting
jumping up and down
hugs and kisses
passed all around

(incomplete)

havnt finished this one yet. tag recommendations, or your own verses!

smiles people. the exams are ending (:

2006-10-08T06:43:00.000+08:00

my mind... its becoming an empty space... theres nothing i do that can help me to fill it. theres nothing i do thats right. everythings wrong. everythings a mistake. why am i always wrong in your eyes? why are you always right, while im always forced to suffer in silence? whenever the time comes when i decide to voice out my opinions, im always falsely accusing you? why is it that the opinions you form matter, while mine dont? WHY? why am i treated differently from the rest? why am i always left alone? haii.

i guess, i can only pass it off with three words?

life's like that.

tagg!

2006-10-07T08:52:00.000+08:00

Tag: 20 names
Name 20 people you can think of :)

1) Marianne
2) Dionne
3) Si Hui
4) Sarah
5) Huirou
6) Yi Hui
7) Lian Ping
8) Shilin
9) Abigail
10) Joy
11) YimQi
12) Robyn
13) Bertram
14) Gabriel
15) Ebenezer
16) Matthew
17) CherylNg
18) Karmen
19) Cheryl Phong
20) Kirby

How did u meet #14? [Gabriel] 5Diligence.

What would your life be if u haven’t met #1? Hmm. how would i know? but anyways, ive met her, and she RAWKS!(:

What would u do if #20 and #9 dated? [Kirby, Abigail] hmms. i dont know... do they know each other in the first place?

Would #6 and #17 make a good couple? [Yi Hui, CherylNg] that would mean they're lesbian. which is bad. id talk them out of it.

Describe #3. [Si Hui] Quiet. Introverted. NICE! really funny. SMART!

Do you think #6 is attractive? [Yi Hui] If i thought she's attractive, would that make me lesbian? haiyooo. and i was supposed to be talking two people out of lesbianism 2 questions ago.

Tell me something about #8. [Shilin] She plays the OBOE. and do you even know what an Oboe is? [im still feeling hurt about dhwani and nuzul not knowing what an Oboeist is. and im pretty sure there are alot of other people out there who still dont know... ): ]

Do you know anything about #12’s family? [Robyn] yeahh. i know alot.

What is #7’s favourite? [Lian Ping] favourite what? color = blue!

What would you do if #11 confesses that he/she likes you? [YimQi] OMGOMGOMG. stop it with the lesbianism!!! but im waiting till 18 anyways (:

What language does #15 speak? [Ebenezer] English.

Who’s #9 going out with? [Abigail] No one. unless she's keeping secrets?

How old is #16? [Matthew] 15When was the last time you talked to #13? [Bertram] Talking now. LOL!

Who’s #2’s favourite singer? [Dionne] Hmmms. last year, i would have had something to say. this year, i dont know.

Would you date #4? [Sarah] IM NOT LESBIAN. FOR THE 3RD TIME.

Would you date #7? [Lian Ping] IM NOT LESBIAN. FOR THE 4TH TIME.

Is #15 single? [Ebenezer] Tough question. im not really sure...

What is #10’s last name? [Joy] Ang

Would you consider being in a relationship with #19? [Cheryl Phong] ermm. no. im still NOT lesbian. and you cant talk me into it.

What schools did #3 go to? [Si Hui] TaoNanSchool, TanjongKatongGirls'School

Where does #6 live? [Yi Hui] Aljunied

What is your favourite thing about #5? [Huirou] maybe her -_-''' look, maybe her disinterest in everything, maybe her great sense of humour. maybe just her always being there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.

What do you think about #13? [Bertram] hmms. cudorable , grade8merit! (:

What do #4 and #19 have in common? [Sarah, CherylPhong] the way they are SO able to talk non-stop.

What special qualities does #17 hold in your life? [CherylNg] She's my mortal, im her angel. hahah. i guess its just her always praying. prayer support you know? hahah. (:

What is the most memorable memory you had with #18? [Karmen] hahah. throwing stuff at each other on her tagboard... or was it watching that movie [The Lakehouse...] and all the memories come flooding...

2006-10-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

Reflections in a Broken Mirror

Parts of me
broken up
in small pieces
that fit in a cup

swept up now
lying in the bin
cleared, forgotten
im bleeding within

no one knows
no one cares
cause im negligible
like one strand of hair

i am worth nothing
in other words - free
and yet im a captive
thats how i'll always be

taken, used
thrown away
thats how i'll spend
the rest of my days

im a reflection
just another you
i cant move
unless you move too

i have no feelings
i have no mind
all my troubles
are left behind

i dont know
who am i?
ever changing
in the blink of an eye

i will never understand
the reason for me
why i can be seen
and yet cannot see

The Hideout

behind the bushes
beyond the gate
a small wooden house
where i let out my hate

in anger i stormed
out from my house
into my hideout
silent as a mouse

there i sit
and there i cry
looking at the birds
as they fly in the sky

i dont know
and i dont care
if my parents
find me there

i cant hide forever
because one day
the anger will burn out
and id be on my way

Walls

beneath the layers
of paint and plaster
under the new
and yet so fake cover

the dents ive made
out of anger and rage
when i had flown
too far from my cage

carried away,
i continued to punch
each with more energy
till i heard 'crunch'

i had reached the door
and broken it right through
my fingers were bleeding
and my knuckles were too

look back at the wall,
the blood, then the door
i screamed and i cried
as i fell to the floor.

2006-10-03T12:22:00.000+08:00

tuesday. wednesday. thursday. friday. saturday. sunday. monday. tuesday. wednesday. AND THE EXAMS WILL BE OVER! 9 days to the end of exams, 25 days to the end of year holidays.

science is the next exam. and i didnt even realise it till like. now? eeurgh. im soooo scared. and im soooo dead. id rather have maths. heh.

2006-09-30T12:29:00.000+08:00

hellos.

im bored. VERY bored.

studying for EOYs is definetely NOT fun. i cant stand it. the STUPID headache came back. and just in time for the exams too. i mean forgoodnesssake. i cant even THINK now. it hurts to think. thats why id rather be brainless. so that i wouldnt be able to think even if i wanted to or unconsciously or stuff like that...

brainless-ness is FUN. cause. you can just do anything crazy, and let it all go! no brains, no worries, no thoughts, no emotions... just plain craziness. letting it all go, being really, truely, for once. YOURSELF.

2006-09-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

hahah. today was funnn.

had IPP. which is inplaceprotection. we all knew it was coming. just didnt know what time. someone said right after recess, then someone else said second period after recess, and yeah. it actually happened during the last lesson.

so we were having MEP. in the MEP room. then the first bell rang. and we all thought IPP would be soon, so we started slacking. then IPP didnt happen till after the whole MEP lesson. so we had to literally RUN back to our classroom, and start sealing up the windows. so we were like. out of the aircon room, into the... sealedupnocirculationroom. and i was still wearing my jacket half the time we were sealed in there. there was a makeshift toilet, which no one used. and yeah. all the garbage bags all went to waste just like that... and all the masking tape WASNT sticky... and.. hahah. and we made a BIG mess out of the whole class seating arrangement and hahah. ends up, i get even less space to like. sit properly. i have to JUMP to get into my seat. and its kinda. evil. cause the people infront of me are quite spread out. and i can SO not see the TINY stuff shown on the visualiser. but ohwells. hahah.

mummy wants me off. and my sister intends to grab the computer. so. i shall continue another day.

2006-09-26T13:59:00.000+08:00

blah. im at a loss for words, and yet im here blogging. there must seriously be something wrong with me.

2006-09-22T12:55:00.000+08:00

dad just left the house. he's going to Beijing, China... they're doing a discussion about North Korea... im real scared... i dont know why. i just feel. different this time...

Lord, watch over papa... grant him a safe trip there and back... i pray that we wont miss him too much during this time he's away from home, and that mummy will be able to handle all of us... Amen.

2006-09-20T13:24:00.000+08:00

hello blog. hahah. i just decided to change blogskin. after using that purple one for. AGES. hahah. this skin is so SHINY~

ohwells. parents are... nagging? so... i shall go off now. and be a good girl. hahah. i shall blog about the performing exam some other time. cya!

~bRaiNleSsOboeist //*

2006-09-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

haha. we did get a free period afterall, history teacher wasnt in school. but then again. pao was scribbling all over my science notes while i was TRYING to copy it out... hahah.. and the chinese teacher left 20minutes early! hahah... today was... weirdly long. and tomorrow's MEP performing. and im dead. cause im just dead.

ohwells. its late. and i should be sleeping. goodnight people, and goodluck for MEP performing. EEK.

2006-09-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

EOYs. i desperately need to destress. DESTRESS. YOU HEAR ME?

englishchinesemathssciencegeographyhistoryliteratureMEP
AHHH MEP IS ON TUESDAY AND I HAVNT CHOSEN MY SECOND INSTRUMENT SONG YET. [panicpanicpanic] AHHH!!! IM GOING TO FAIL EVERYTHING! -freaksout-

i need a holiday. BADLY. i cant stand the chineseteacher. YES I ACTUALLY DID WRITE THE WHOLE LIST OF CHINESE WORDS. and you BETTER have a use for it. if not ill just... just... ARGH i dont even know WHAT i can do to you. EEE. MY HANDS HURT SO BAD I COULDNT EVEN WRITE MY GEOG NOTES OKAY. YOU OWE ME ONE FULL DAY OF STUDYING. SO THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS GIVE US A FREE PERIOD NEXT CHINESE LESSON.

eee. i dont care. i want a free period tomorrow.

2006-09-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh. i think ill never be able to stop being scared of everything. haii. when will i learn? i have to quit being scared of everything...

2006-09-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

1. Full name: JoyAnn [Grace] Lim Ting
2. Name backwards: gniT miL [cearG] nnAyoJ
3. Meaning of the name: JoyAnn = Joyful
4.Nickname: hmm. tingting, brainlessoboeist, pudding
5. Screen name: bRaiNleSsOboeist
6.D.O.B: 5th July 1992
7.Place of birth: Singapore
8. Nationality: Singaporean
9. Current location: Devotions Room [where the computer is. DUHH!]
10. Star sign: Cancer
11. Religion: Christian Baptist
12. Height: 155
13.Weight: hahah. not telling you.
14. Shoe size: 6
15.Hair colour: Black
16. Eye colour: Black [Blue when im wearing contacts :P]
17. Who do you think u look like: my mom/dad/siblings. relatives larhh.
18. Innie or outtie: ?!?! abit of both i guess.
19. Lefty of righty: i write with my right hand. if thats what it means...
20. Gay,straight,bi or others: straight duhh.
21. Best friends: woow. the list goes on FOREVER.
22. Best friends u trust most: hmm. loads too.
23. Favourite pals: favourite meaning?
24. Best friend of opposite sex: my future boyfriend. whom i currently... do not know?
25. Best buddies: ermm. doesnt this mean 'favourite pals'?
26. Boyfriend of galfriend: not yet. wait another. 4 years? [that would be. when im 18!]
27. Crush: dont have. how sad.
28. Parents: Mom - Catherine Tan, Dad - William Lim
29. Worst enemy: noone. cause we have to love our enemies anyway riight?
30. Favourite online guy: hahah. online guy? as in.. never met before? or just guys i talk to online? hahah. all of them if its the latter.
31. Favourite online gal: hmm.
32. Craziest fren: CHUAPAOPAO
33. Advice fren: the person im too scared to name, abigail, robyn, eben, gabriel, matthew...
34. Loudest friend: loud as in? talk loud [CherylPhong], type loud [YiZhi], or scream loud [chuapaopao]?
35. Person u cry with: hmm. this depends on who's there.
36. Any sisters: yupps [2]
37. Any brother: yupps [2]
38. Any pets: yupps [2]
39. Any disease: nope
40. Pager: pagers are so. out?
41. Personal phone line: nope.
42. Phone: home phone, yes, handphone, no.
43. Lava lamp: nope
44. Pool or hot tube: ???
45. A car: no. im too young to drive.
46. Your personality: hmm. ask the person im too scared to name.
47. Driving: no. too young. like i already said.
48. Room: shared with my younger sis.
49. What's missing: missing from what? my life?
50. School: XNPS, GMPS, TKGS
51. Bed: okay. do the calculation 2singles - 1supersingle = the size of my bed. [while my younger sis gets a queensized, older sis and younger bro get supersingles, parents share a kingsize, youngest bro uses two single beds.]
52. Relationship wif parents: ermm. parent-child relationship... duhh?
53. Believe in urself: nope.
54. Believe in love at first sight: normally i think feelings slowly develop, and love at first sight's called infatuation. or in other words. puppylove. and it wont last. but then again. nothings impossible.
55. Good listener: yupp.
56. Get along well wif parents: yes
57. Save email conversations: yupp
58. Pray: yes!
59. Believe in reincarnation: NO
60. Make fun of ppl: hmm. intentionally, no. unintentionally, maybe... [im sorry if i did though...]
61. Like to talk on the phone: yes
62. Want to get married: hmm. we'll see.
63. Like to drive: WHATS WITH THE DRIVING QUESTIONS? i like driving people mad, but REAL car driving, i havnt tried...
64. Motion sickness: yes
65. Eat stem of broccoli: yes, and i dont eat the other parts of the broccoli.
66. Eat chicken wif fork: tried that. almost succeded when i got angry at it and decided to just use my fingers.
67. Dream in colour: yes
68. Type wif ur fingers on home role: this means?
69. Sleep wif stuff animals: used to.
70. Next to you: PDA.
71. On the walls of your room: yellowish paint[a really sickly color.]. and a few drawings that me and my sister made... together with... all the pencil/chalk/colorpencil/paint/crayon markings my youngest bro put there. and theres a mirror up on the wall too. other things... arent connected to the wall. OH THE SHELVES. hahah. okay. yupp. i think thats it.
72. On your mousepad: dont have a mousepad.
73. Dream car: lavendar VW beetle or a minicooper
74. Dream date: 5th of July, lateafternoon towards evening? [ohwait. is that what this question is asking?]
75. Dream honeymoon spot: Hawaii. or BoraBora Islands. or Australia... just someplace with nice REAL landscape scenery. no tall buildings or stress. just natural stuff.
76. Dream husband n wife: huh?
77. Bedtime: between 8pm and 1am
78. Under ur bed: the floor, and then the ceiling of the 17th storey, and then whatevers on the 17th storey, and then the floor of the 17th storey, and then the ceiling of the 16th storey, and that whatevers on the 16th storey, and then the floor of the 16th storey, and then the ceiling of the 15th storey... and everything else till you reach the ground floor.
79. Single most important question: why / whynot?
80. Bad time of the day: the middle of the day. when the headache hits hard, the sun is high, the instruments expand and NO one can play properly cause we're too busy wiping off sweat.
81. Your worst fear: God Almighty
82. The weather is: NIGHTY! [like sunny, only, its night.]
83. Time: 8.57pm
84. Date: 9 september
85.Best trick pulled on someone: hmm. tricks = lying. lying = bad.
86. Theme song: as in favourite theme song or my own theme song? i dont have a theme song. i like the Pirates Of The Carribean themesong. cause its all instrumental! Final Fantasy's not bad too. all of their songs are NICE!
87. Hardest thing abt growing up: Everything's just about as hard as everything else.
88. Funniest experience: Thursday. at the esplanade.
89. Scariest experience: Thursday. at the esplanade.
90. Silliest thing u have ever said: 'if nothing is better than eternal happiness, and half a cookie is better than nothing, doesnt it mean that half a cookie is better than eternal happiness?'
91. Most desperate and funniest thing u have ever done to a person of the opposite sex: im not desperate. but i am funny. recall. Thursday at the esplanade.
92. Scariest thing when you are with your friends: seeing some guy i know and seeing one of my friends fall for him? LOL!
93. Worst feeling: having to fake a smile. having to fake being happy, having to fake your WHOLE life.
94. Best feeling in the world: to feel care, concern... being happy... [something i only managed to feel only 2 months ago.]
95. AND NOW THE SABOTAGING BEGINS!!CHOOSE EIGHT PPL TO DO THE QUIZ.
eight people? but why not everyone i know? SABOTAGE HAS TO BE EQUAL. UNDIVIDED... sorry. im crapping.hmmm.i dont know larh. whoever wants to do go and do lorhh.

2006-09-09T14:21:00.000+08:00

esplanade. hahah. i dont really know what there is to say about it. all i know. it was weird, and i was traumatised. as in. really scared. really really really scared. and i dont even know how to explain it. hahah.

anyways. its a nice place, good environment for studying, and... the ROOFTOP TERRACE IS SOOOO NICE!

oh. and look at this.
nothing is better than eternal happiness right?
and half a cookie is better than nothing right?
so is half a cookie better than eternal happiness?
hahah. this is actually a olevel subject. called LOGIC. LOL!!!

2006-09-06T05:10:00.000+08:00

AHH!. just when i thought id finally get better, the headache comes back, full force, and the fever's back too. did nothing but sleep today. couldnt even get out of bed. made it to the computer with ALOT of energy. i hope i get better tmr. theres band... and i dont want to miss it. band yesterday was... haha. toccata and fugue in d minor. the whole day. and it was so fast. i couldnt even take a proper rest and im all tired out, reached home, and now i have a cramped up right arm. cant type proper. woke up today at 4.15AM. with some whole body cramp thing. it was so painful, i couldnt get back to sleep after that [so much for wanting to rest, sleep in till 11 today.] so im up at 4.15am with a freaking headache, runny nose, and a sore throat. oh heres a tip. if you eat strepsils to get sore throats away, take menthol. NOT any other flavour, cause the strength is stronger in the menthol one. my sore throat's gone. so. now im down to the fever, headache and runny nose [which i think is going away] i hope i dont overdose panadol again. haii... i think im going back to sleep. cant stand it. im too cold...

2006-09-03T02:43:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.

im not exactly in a blogging mood currently, cause ive been just so disappointed over the past few days. everythings just hitting me, all at once. im so lucky to have _____ as a friend. its just so nice that i always find someone to confide in before the troubles hit me. and i really want to thank God for it. anyways. thanks for always being there for me and all. its nice knowing theres someone you can rely on. even when everyone else turns their backs on you. even when society is too busy to care.

i just love my other devotional book. its so amazing that everytime i read it [instead of my new one] its talking to me. its helping me when i need help. its always just inline with what im questioning. everytime i have a special need, or question, it has the answer for me. its teaching me, and i can become a better person. i just love how God is so in control of my life. how He can always help me with my troubles, how he places people in my life to help me, to lead me back when i go astray, and to just be there for me. thankyousomuch.

to the person who hates me : i dont really know why you hate me, but. im sure that hating a person is definately NOT a nice feeling. the anger that you portray to that person, may just get reflected back at you. i dont know how. but the one being hated [under these circumstances, me] doesnt know the reason for being hated. and all the anger you spurt out, doesnt get anywhere, cause the person doesnt know. i hope that you can stop hating, and just approach me. tell me what you hate about me, so that i can help you to get rid of the hate. if you must, go ahead and yell at me, cause that way, id know why. i dont understand why hating has to be blogged for the whole world to see. i mean. whats the point? its just going to make people think that you're asking for sympathy. and i dont think thats the real reason behind it. is it?

meanwhile. im going to stop hating the people i hate. cause its just causing more hurt than needed. its all just excessive. and theres no point hating a person, cause it isnt going to change anything.

smiles people.

2006-08-31T11:15:00.000+08:00

last day of lessons today. and dance! dance is fun. hahh... but too much spinning! i go dizzy and my head goes throbbing again. i think the twirltwirl cuddle part is violent. lol. and CLARISA SAW MY P1 PHOTO! lol. i keep my primary one buspass thing in my wallet. together with my ezlink card. then she saw... so evil! hahah. and my head was spinning. then she suddenly said last time i so fat. now so... hahah... mummy said i have style... cause in that photo i wasnt facing the camera. rather, i was turned slightly then looking at the camera. hahah... i have s-t-y-l-e! i think im mad. [overdosed panadol again today.] haii.. when will this stupid headache go away?

2006-08-30T08:53:00.000+08:00

hello. sorry i havnt updated for a LONG time...

its already the second day of the last week of school. how time flies!

Sunday 27th August - Jayne's Birthday.
went to Fish&Co. for lunch. and i was mistaken AGAIN for an under12yearold. i hate it when those people do that to me. its so downgrading. and evil. and i DONT LIKE IT. IM NOT 12 YEARS OLD FORGOODNESSSAKE. im 14. and you CANT do anything to change that. evil people. at least like. ASK? dont just freaking jump to the conclusion that im a KID?! and my bro got the adult menu. HES STILL SHORTER THAN ME OKAY. ARGH. had a bad day.

and today. hahah... today we started preperation for some item we have to put up on THURSDAY. and we are SO not prepared for it. so lets just walk up the stage and go. 'oops we didnt prepare anything. have a nice day, goodbye!'

so yupps. have a nice day, goodbye!

2006-08-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

Love Will Find A Way

In a perfect world
One we've never known
We would never need to face the world alone

They can have the world
We'll create our own
I may not be brave or strong or smart
But somewhere in my secret heart

I know
Love will find a way
Anywhere I go
I'm home
If you are there beside me

Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I was so afraid
Now I realize
Love is never wrong
And so it never dies

There's a perfect world
Shining in your eyes
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you

They'd know
Love will find a way
Anywhere we go
We're home
If we are there together

Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I know love will find a way

i just like the lyrics, and the whole song... i think i just love the LionKingII songs... We Are One is nice too... maybe ill post the lyrics here sometime soon-ish. ohman. im in love...

2006-08-22T07:14:00.000+08:00

I am part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed." I have Holy Sprit power. The die has been cast. I've stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognised, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of populatiry, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, or burn up till I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.
I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till he comes, give till i drop, preach till all know, and work till he stops.
And when he comes to get His own, He'll have no problems recognising me. My colors will be clear.

2006-08-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

devotions today was so meaningful. we are to serve others. serve meaning [towards christians] be encouragement, [towards non-christians] share the gospel, [towards parents/teachers] help them.

so i came up with a list... yupps. [im not blogging the list though. due to personal reasons.] and yes. its long. my dad saw me writing [furiously] and asked if my list was going to last me till im 21. and i was like.. 'ermm no. by the time im 21, the list will be 5 times this length.' hahah. so everyone bursts out laughing and all...

i hope devotions continues this way instead of the ways we did it last time [dad reads, we listen, and then we pray, and we're dismissed] now its more applicable... i can actually APPLY the lessons learnt to my life... and its more meaningful! [mum reads the passage, we listen, we discuss the passage, we write down thoughts, and apply the lesson!] it means so much to me now... its not just routine... its become a PART of my life... maybe my church should consider getting a youth service instead of just a combined sermon that we dont understand... but then again. who'd run it?

okay. so now, its late at night. and ive been waking up REALLY early the past few days... so i shall go sleep and get well from all the headache and fever things. gdnight people!

2006-08-19T12:44:00.000+08:00

maybe ms sia really was right. maybe we just arent putting in enough effort as the seniors... maybe thats why we didnt beat Maris Stella High. it was a wake up call... we're hiding in the shadow of our seniors... we have to pull right out of it... we have to prove that we arent just a band known for its name that was carved by our seniors... we are a band known for its ability to pass on the playing skills and bonded-ness from batch to batch. that should be our aim... work hard towards it! aim for the best. next NBC, we'll beat marisstella. alumni or no alumni.

note to whichever junior comes here. sorry if my earlier posts were offensive towards you... i just needed to let go... and its real hard and all having to teach while still learning it... its really hard for all of us... okay? really sorry!

ohwells. crosscountry cum zany parade tmr. thanks to all who put in all the effort to get our class to cooperate! you guys RAWK, and i think we all know it yea? thanks again! and jiayou to all participants in crosscountry! give it your all... 3km... its not easy is it? jiayou! and to the rest of the class. lets win zany again! its going to be gr8!!! hahah... ohwells. most important thing is to have FUN.

F is for friends who do stuff together
U is for You and Me
N is for anything and anytime at all

spongebob. we're all addicted and influenced by a tiny little NONEXISTANT sea sponge. coooool.

The Purpose of YOUR life.

2006-08-18T06:53:00.000+08:00

Have you always wondered what your purpose was in life? Look no further. Here's The Bridge that will bridge the gap to a more meaningful life.

As we all know, Man (mankind) is not perfect. Did you know we were once perfect? There was a time, a time of perfection, where mankind and animals of the land, sea and air lived in perfect harmony.God created Adam and Eve, the Earth's first two humans. They were perfect and had a perfect relationship with all nature and with God himself. They were placed in a garden, the Garden Of Eden, where trees of every kind blossomed and beared fruit. God told them they could partake of any fruit from any tree, EXCEPT The Tree Of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil (long name rite?). See, mankind was perfect, and perfect means no evil. If you don't eat that tree's fruit, you don't know evil. Therefore, if you don't know evil, evil doesn't exist! Amazing isn't it?

But there was a problem, and this problem caused the downfall of man. One day, while Eve was strolling in the garden, the devil (Satan) in serpent form convinced her into eating the fruit, claiming she would become like God and her eyes would be open.Seeing the fruit was pleasing to the eye, she took some and ate it. Then, she also passed the fruit to her husband, Adam, to eat. That day, when God called to Adam and Eve, they hid from Him because they were ashamed. When God knew they ate the fruit, He condemned the devil and banished Adam and Eve from the Garden.So, what of life after death. Because we have all sinned (done wrong), we fall short of the glory of God. It says in the Bible that we were created in God's likeness to be like Him. But "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." It means we can no longer be like Him. Furthermore, it is also said in the Bible, "the wages of sin is death". What does this mean? It means we are condemned to eternal suffering in Hell after we die. Does it mean all of us are condemned?

NO! Good News! We are saved from this eternal suffering if we believe in Christ and accept Him as our personal Saviour.2000 years ago, God sent Jesus, His Son, to die on the cross for all our sins. All? Yes, all! Three days after Jesus died, he rose from the dead. He conquered sin and death for you. It is written in the Bible, "If you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."

What are you waiting for? Would you risk a moment's hesitation and end up suffering for Eternity?If you want to be saved fro this condemnation, it's really simple. You may say you don't deserve it. Let me tell you, I didn't either. None of us did. But God offers this redemption for everyone. See, God is this Gentleman who never forces. He lets you make the choice. I beseech you.Will you make the choice today?

All you have to do is say this simple prayer:"Dear Jesus. I confess I am a sinner and I have sinned. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead three days later. I want You to be my saviour. Come into my life today and redeem me from eternal suffering. I thank You for Your forgiveness. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."

You know what? If you prayed that prayer, you are a child of God. It means you will not suffer in Hell for eternity but you will join the heavenly angels and God Himself in heaven after you pass away from this earth. Isn't that great?I invite you to drop me an email at enjoylifewhileitlasts@hotmail.com to notify me that you are the latest addition to the heavenly family.

2006-08-17T09:41:00.000+08:00

hello!
i was just reminiscing about primary school while looking through all my class photos from P1... its really cool. i actually still have my letters from my P1 classmates! Rose, Sherry, Adelina, Hazwani, Yee Jin... it was really cute looking through all the small notes and pictures that they drew for me... and as we grew, moving on to different classes, i made new friends.. it was so EAST making new friends in primary school. Everyone was just so open and fun! Then it was all the farewell letters from 5F... everyone mentioned keeping in touch... but i never really managed to contact any of them... because at that time, we were all too young to have email addresses and blogs. Telephone numbers switched, handphone numbers changed. We lost contact. XNPS... its nothing but a memory now...

GMPS. spent one year and four months in this school. in two seperate classes. frankly speaking, i have more memories from the first four months rather than the one year. the four months i spent in 5Diligence were so full of fun, laughter, peace and joy... whereas the one year in 6 Charity didnt really leave much of an impact on my mind. I always felt more welcome in Diligence... they were always inviting me back for class parties, like i was still one of them. Ms Tan Wei Wei. the funny, bubbly, artsy form teacher who taught everything except Chinese and Music. Her last prayer for me was so touching!!! she was always there. and her. leading the whole class to Christianity at the end of P6... so nice. meaningful... Entering into 6 Charity was a blur. The only thing i really remember was KaiYing. One register number after me, she guided me through P6... PSLE. the major milestone... everything whizzed past, and now... its secondary school...

2006-08-17T08:33:00.000+08:00

the only reason why im on the computer now. there was no band practise today. we've already had our one week break... one week without band practise... people can die here. ohwells. o'level oral yea? hahah... seniors, jiayou!

band. its about COMMITMENT. if you dont have the commitment, why join band? WHY did you join band? its almost as if you cant be bothered to come for band practise. forgoodnesssake. cramps? wouldnt that mean you're missing one or two band practises a month? EACH month? its almost as if you're doing what C***** did. and thats so NOT right. headache, stomahache... what next? commitment. remember that. its important. really. it is. now i see why Abigail wants us to be strict... its just cause you people dont COMMIT. and dont IMPROVE. its going to be the downfall of the band you know. its really depressing seeing only one of the two juniors every band practise you know... HELLO. WE ONLY HAVE TWO SEC1S. AND WE ONLY SEE ONE EACH BAND PRACTISE. YOU THINK ITS THAT EASY TO BE A SENIOR, TRY IT NEXT YEAR. ITS SERIOUSLY DISTURBING OKAY. AND ITS NOT EASY. ITS STRESSFUL. AND IF YOU DONT LEARN WELL NOW, HOW WILL YOU TEACH THE NEW JUNIORS NEXT YEAR? theres still so much more you havnt learnt. and by not coming for band practise, then you're missing out on what we teach. get yourself on the right track. we wont be there for you forever you know.

2006-08-12T12:49:00.000+08:00

i thought it was monday today... hahh... this felt like september holidays larh. as in a REAL holiday. one they couldnt call us back to school for. hahah. rawked. though i did sleep late. and wake up late. and ALMOST sleep in today, i finished the history PBA. its FINALLY OVER AND DONE WITH. HURRAH. bye history. i shall see you no more. that was the MOST ANNOYING PROJECT. the camera couldnt connect to the PC, then the clips were cut by the other group, the files were too big. had to stay up past 12 every night. ohmy. my eyebags are growing... ewww. ugly eyebags. yuckyuckyuck. i shall sleeeeeeeep in tomorrow. no band afterall :( i think band is fun. was REALLY bored today. seriously. bored to death. when i could be playing my darrling oboe. waarhx.

anyways. ever seen an upright grand piano? its like tall. makes me feel so short. hahah... the score holder is so high. the piano top is so high. im seriously intimidated by the piano. and FORGOODNESSSAKE ITS JUST A PIANO. but its tall. and its BIG. fireworks today?! hahah. must be that fireworks festival thingyy. hahah...

oh yea. learnt about this instrument called an Octobass. its like cool okay. then theres the Tubax[which btw. is a saxophone.] click hahah. these are like cuteeee and huge too. hahah. imagine an instrument so huge. it takes two people to play it? hahah... so cool.

2006-08-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

Today was probably one of the best days of my life... the day i meet my primary school friends again. started off with National Day Celebrations which was no big deal actually. it was quite. cramp and boring. mostly just sing and sing and sing.

after the celebrations. this is the fun part. we all went to the canteen and cut our birthday cake... [which by the way, i couldnt eat because of the cream] and ya. eat it. then we changed back to school uniform and i walked out of school with yi hui.

met aloysia at the busstop outside Day and Night, and set out to wait for cheryl and huiwen. they were dismissed later than us... saw bertram at the bus stop too! hahah... so at around 11++ cheryl came [i found out their school band played the National Anthem that morning...] and then we waited till about 12 for huiwen cause she had redcross duty.

as we were making our way to macdonalds we saw yipeng at her father's shop... then we made our way to macdonalds where we met karmen, shuyi, kaiying and jesica. KAIYING WAS SO UNRECOGNISABLE!!! i really couldnt recognise her!!! hahah... anyways. we ordered lunch and ate. then we sat there and were supposed to be waiting for thomas, weicong and yizhi, but thomas decided not to come along cause there were 'too many girls' hahah...

so after weicong finished eating, then we went back to GMPS to try to get the security person to let us in, and GUESS WHO WE SAW AT THE GATE? Mrs Lim Choon Num. and she let us in!!! hahah (: yay for mrs lim. shes like so nice larh. then she was like asking us if we had any siblings in the school and ya. she was like telling me stuff about my brother. she apparently only teaches 3 classes?! haha... anyways. very few teachers were in the school, so we were like walking along empty corridors... and remembering the stuff we did in the various rooms... then we walked up to the hall... and its like SO HUGE AS COMPARED TO MY SCHOOL'S HALL. AND ITS FULLY AIRCONDITIONED SOMEMORE. then we went to the staff room and left a message for Mrs Kimberly Lee. shes pregnant AGAIN!!! and her baby boy is SO CUTEE!!! hahah... anyways. after that we went to the HOD room... [the teachers in the staff room chased us out.] and Mrs Lim gave us this ice lolly like thingyy and gave us a very inspirational speech. it was like nice. she was like saying that teachers are like mothers. when we are young, they will guide us step by step all the way, and when we are older, we get more freedom, just like in primary school, the teachers guide us closely, but in secondary school, the teachers dont really do that as much. hahah... then we left the school... [weicong went home, aloysia had to go home from aljunied cause her grandmother was going out and she had to look after her brother...]

We took the MRT to City Hall [kaiying went to meet her mum] and went to Marina South to watch a movie. we watched Lake House. which is like really NICE. its like SOOOOO NICE!!! and touching. but i think the guy overdid his crying. heres the weirdest part. when we left the cinema, then we were standing at the bottom of the stairs. then this person from upstairs spat. YES SPAT. and his/her SPIT came flying down onto yi hui's arm. SO DAOMEI LARH. poor yi hui... so we like went to the toilet which was like crowded. and then yh washed her arm with water and scrubbed it with soap.

after that we wanted to go to the rooftop garden thing in the Esplanade, but then it was apparently closed or something, so we didnt go up. and all throughout the journey to esplanade, yizhi and huiwen were like arguing about who was more 'lian' hahah... so lame. then we walked into the esplanade library and then walked out again. then huiwen and yizhi continued their argument and karmen went to video it on her phone. hahah... so funny larh... karmen threatened to post it on YouTube, but yea. hahah...

so yizhi wanted to go to the airport [dont know for what reason...] but most of us had to go home already... so karmen, jesica, huiwen and me alighted at Aljunied and made our way home...

that was my 8th August 2006. how was yours?

2006-08-07T07:52:00.000+08:00

im so addicted to Cartoon by Paul Hart. and Soul Bossanova by the Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra. and our band isnt even playing them. hahah... the songs are so nice. the most recentyl played Jap song is REAL NICE!!! im IN LOVE WITH IT!!! its so nice... the melodies are so familiar, but i dont know where i heard them before... SO NICE!!! its like sooooooooooooooooo nice. hahah. love it.

2006-08-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

maybe she was right. maybe we just werent working hard enough.

i will work harder. really. i will try. i will practise more. i will. i really will.

mum wants me to try out for the grade 7 exam without a piano teacher... can i still use the purple book? heee...

2006-08-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

I come into Your court with praise
I bow before Your throne
Your presence gives me peace within
And joy I never know
So I give to You my heart and soul
May it bring You pleasure Lord
There's no higher call than to worship You
For You alone are Lord

I worship You, Almighty God
There is none like You
I worship You, O Prince of Peace
That is what I want to do
I give You praise
For You are my righteousness
I worship You, Almighty God
There is none like You

O Lord, I live just to give You praise
Refined enough as gold
Please give to me a heart that's pure
For I desire to be whole
Your throne O Lord, for You are King
No one else can take Your place
As I close my eyes in Your presence, O Lord
Let me see You face to face

I worship You, Almighty God
There is none like You
I worship You, O Prince of Peace
That is what I want to do
I give You praise
For You are my righteousness
I worship You, Almighty God
There is none like You

2006-07-30T13:01:00.000+08:00

heyy everybody... i cant believe im saying this. but im actually MISSING A Movement For Rosa. i really miss it as in... i go in for band and im like taking out my file and FLIPPING TO ROSA. gosh. is it only because i am used to it? its SOOO weird you know... i used to find it boring playing the same song OVER AND OVER and now im still flipping to it... im thinking about my dream skirt. hahah... i dont know why. but im thinking about it. first condition. Long. at least 3/4 length. Color = purple. preferrably light, but if they dont have it, then any shade. hahah... it can be flowing too... its fun come to think of it... imagine designing your own clothes? hahah... so fun...

~bRaiNleSsOboeist //*

2006-07-29T13:05:00.000+08:00

wow. primary school friends DO take notice of you. whether or not you were their friend or even talked to them. thats cool isnt it? they really do care about you... about how you are handling life... i think i was really immature and biased in primary school. id never talk to guys in primary school. and now here i am talking to them. wow. its amazing how perspective changes... there ARE nice guys out there. not all guys are jerks [though quite a number of them are...] ohwells. ive not been really blogging about my life right? hahah... let me start from NBC.

we performed. we went out. went back in to continue watching. impressed by many schools. VS performed. saw thomas[percussion] , xuzhou[clarinet] and leslie[saxophone... was that him?]. CCH performed. was discouraged cause they cut the holding notes and the part we really wanted to watch. saw bertram[tuba] though. hahah. knew he would be there. but yea. i was impressed. hahah. after the whole thing. WE GOT SECOND, losing to MARIS STELLA HIGH by like 0.35%... hahah. we all cant forget that 0.35%. gosh. we must be mad.

sunday. performance, was compulsory to stay on. watched Aichi Meiden High for the first time. Encore was asked for, but didnt happen. hahah... not too much of a memorable experience other than that.

tuesday. Aichi Meiden High's performance. LOVELY INCREDIBLES. was so impressed. they were like moving around SOOOO MUCH!!! and they still managed to do such a good job with it... they played SO FAST!!! wow. so impressed. [yimqi was apparently obsessed with the percussionists. kept taking pics of the same spot. hahah]

listening to Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.

oh wells. sometimes feelings just change... you might think you love him/her, but... somehow the feeling wears off... thats why no one should ever rush into a relationship or a marriage... breakups happen often... its all a part of life... handle it well. im sure you are capable of it.

listening to The Beautiful Blue Danube by Johann Strauss

just listening to this song reminds me of GMPS. they used to play this song everyday to remind us to go down for flagloweringceremony. it was so interesting how much i managed to enjoy the song... when the march music in our school just plain irritates me? hahah... maybe cause the Blue Danube is a more soothing... relaxing song... ohwells. its a nice song anyways. ive been visiting primary school blogs. and ive realised... actually im not as forgotten as i thought i was... good that loads of them havnt changed blog address yet! hahah... when will there be a 6 Charity '04 reunion thingy? hahah... anyone going back on 080806? hahah... gosh i think im going mad... someone give me something to do. cant believe i used to be able to play this song... now... hmm... think again larh. my piano standards dropping like mad and i dont even have a piano teacher now... wells. maybe i DO have one. who teaches me by sending me scores, over the INTERNET, to try out... when will he ever hear me play? hahah... ohwells. thanks anyway. hahah... its amazing how long this song is... hahah... hmmm... now i think im just about to start naming people from the letters of the alphabet.

Adelina / Abigail
Bertram
Catherine / Chloe
Dionne / Davy / Daniel
Eileen
F
Grace / Gabriel
Hazwani / Huirou
I
Jocelyn / Joycelyn / Jayne
Kaiying
Laura /Lynette [Shilin]
Marianne
Natalie
O
Persis
Qi
Robyn
Sarah / SiHui / SiLing
T
U
Valerie [NOT huirou :)]
William
X
YongXian / YiHui / YeeJin
Z

listening to Trau - Schau - Wem! Op.463 by Johann Strauss

Persis Overture. im still trying to complete the list.

ohmy this is hard okay... i can SO NOT COMPLETE THE LIST!!!

listening to : Soul Bossanova :) NICENICENICE song.

todays band was weird. she come only sit in the band office and dunno do what... then we were like too scared to play and then she sent me to distribute scores for sec1s... it was so... HARD. seriously. its so hard to distribute scores. so stressful. then its like... hahah... i took like so long to distribute it... then im like so tired after walking around like the whole school then she sent me to go tell everyone what to practise. hahah. so funny. then after that she combine oboe and bassoon. so its like combine with THREE people. hahah... then after a short while then she combine flute and clarinet also... then saxophone and trumpet. whole time playing Under The Double Eagle... practising for the Mountbatten thingyy on 6th August. so i guess oboe and bassoon ARE playing in it... hahah (: so much for wanting another Sunday for me to go for church... haii...

hahah. miniclip games are cutee. ohwells. i better post now. its late. gdnight people (:

~bRaiNleSsOboeist //*

2006-07-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

SundayMorning.I woke up too early. i feel weird... hahah... ohwells. its the concert later... i hope we do okay. we have to do justice to our SECOND position you know. hahah... im so tired. and i wanted to sleep in today... but how in the world did i end up waking up so early?! its crazy. hahah... im getting huge eyebags. EWW. and my eyes hurt a tinge. hahah. i was trying so hard to read all the judges comments posted on the board in the band room. hahah. gosh. my eyes are going to spoil. DID I TELL YOU MY YOUNGER BROTHER HAS TO WEAR SPECTACLES?! yes he does. 225 degrees lerh. so horrible. hes only 4 years old!!! ohgosh. hahah...

ohyea. 21st July. i will never forget your birthday Adelina... just that i reached home at like 9+ and couldnt call cause it was too late. and then Saturday i watched my sisters drama performance and came home at 10+, so again i couldnt call. Today, now its too early i dont know if you are awake. and ill be reaching home late again today. NBC Concert. ohgosh. when will i get to call?! so irritating. my days are so packed full. hahah... anyways. i dont think you'll get to see this... but... Happy Birthday anyways. (: thanks for being the great friend that you are!!!

ohgosh im so sleepy.

2006-07-21T13:44:00.000+08:00

yay. topthreebands concert on Sunday and we have to pay like $8?! so UNreasonable. we are like performers can?! hahah... ohwells, can pick up a skill or two from the performers yea?

tomorrows carnival day. should i bring my brother? he will be like so sad if he cant go... but its alot of trouble for me... haii... howhowhow?

2006-07-18T08:38:00.000+08:00

its only now i realise how much i miss primary school... primary 6... i didnt even make an effort to make friends with the whole class... they are just some other people in my life... and its only now i realise how much they mean to me. i want a class reunion... 6Charity'04... lets get a class reunion thing? i want to see how much everyone has changed since our innocent primary school years... hahah... anyways... hahah... will it ever happen?

2006-07-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

Yay. we got second for the competition!!! lost to Maris Stella High by like 0.35%... and they had like alumni members... so its like... not fair larh... we so rawk more. hahah... we lost $3000 to them lerh... :'( anyways... life's like that right? scary larh... its like so scary!!! oh gosh... we were like so panicking and everything... and we were like so nervous and freaking out and then we were like SECOND!!! YAY! gosh. i was disappointed by CCH though... they didnt play the whole song... i was looking forward to hearing another school play that song... you know, different schools do different interpretations... and yeah... that was like the nicest ever part... and they cut it. WAARHX. anyways. they were good. everyone was... so GOOD! its a miracle we're in top 3... sad that we had to cut so many people from the competition... i liked watching this competition... it was so like FUN! but i realised that actually, even though i saw like 4 guys from primary school in band, i didnt even see ONE girl... its like so sad!!! i thought they were musically inclined... wells. anyways. GIRLS RAWK. maris stella may have won first place, but the second and third are taken by GIRLS SCHOOLS. MUAHAHAH. dont underestimate our LUNG space... hahah... we will BLOW you away with our LOVELY music... YAY! hahah... it was really cold in there though... i kept my blazer on... hahah... i was literally frozen... anyways... it was a good experience, and we got to go through it... i hope that there will be more experiences like this one... anyways. we rawk. so there. hahah... rawkon!!!

2006-07-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

I want the truth. I want what you really think of me. I'll take it... i just need to know. i really really need to know. so tell me. i dont care if it hurts. i just need the truth. okay? do me this favour... tell me what you really think of me. what is really going through your mind and what is really going on. i really dont understand anything at all. if you hate me... tell me... and ill never bother you again.

2006-07-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

I just read this book... a Classic. so i know practically everyone who is actually reading this wont be interested to read this book... its so touching... and nice... i just LOVE it... i read it... i cried... its just so touching... it just reaches through and touches your heart... OHGOSH. its just so NICE!!!

and by talking to a Xingnanian recently, ive found out that i have changed DRASTICALLY... the amount of changes that my friend saw in me... im surprised myself... im scaring myself this way... i dont know how i managed to change so much without actually realising it at all... i dont understand whats happening to me... i think its influence... but its like... i dont like the new me. i dont KNOW the new me. im scared of the new me... i want my old self back. i want to be that innocent P5 girl that i was... i want to be that way... i dont know what has happened to me... i dont understand the changes that are happening to me... i used to do homework by the end of the lesson. now i leave it to the NEXT lesson to do it. there were so many things i used to be... and now... they've all just disappeared... i need help to find my old self back... someone help me?

2006-07-09T11:41:00.000+08:00

hello blog! im back after a longlong break... the concert on 5th July rawked! and i had so much fun... i really think we did a good job and im sure that the teachers are all very proud of us... lets keep rawking on all the way... through to the competition!!!

jiayou for Band Fiesta tomorrow!!! we can do it! (: TKGSSB rawks!

thanks to all the people who actually bother coming here to this utterly dead blog... (:

2006-07-02T12:22:00.000+08:00

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep going on
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

2006-06-30T12:31:00.000+08:00

hello blog. after a LONG break, im finally back to blogging... i think its going to be short though... i dont really have much to say... to the person that i probably dont know, thanks for your interest in psychology... if thats what you are in, but im not here blogging to be like your experiment, and i would appreciate it if you were to stop coming here. thankyou.

Projectsprojectsprojects... are the teachers very free? well. even if they are... they shouldnt be making us suffer by dumping projects upon our heads and stuff like that. WE ARE BUSY PEOPLE FOR GOODNESS SAKE. we have holiday CCAs, we have things to prepare for... we arent so free to meet up during the holidays you know. i dont even feel as if there were even any holidays.

haii... i feel as if im being pulled into a deep, dark pit... make that slippery too. and i have no way of getting out... the walls closing in... and im stuck... the opening slowly seals, and im in total darkness. im suffocating... breathing slows... slows... slows... and then, all of a sudden, the darkness is replaced by a bright light! Whats going on? Where am i? i look around... i see familiarity... I know these people... but i dont remember... i cant recall, i dont understand... was it you? you who kept holding on to the rope... you who pulled me out? ask yourself. were you EVER there for me?

2006-06-21T13:18:00.000+08:00

list 10 people on your mind now.
Marianne //*
Dionne //*
Si Hui //*
Sarah //*
HuiRou //*
YiHui //*
Abigail //*
Joy //*
Robyn //*
YimQi //*

out of this 10 people, how many do you love ?
All. If not what in the world are they doing on my mind?

list 10 people you love inclusive of the number of people you previously mentioned loved.
1. Marianne //*
2. Dionne //*
3. Si Hui //*
4. Sarah //*
5. HuiRou //*
6. YiHui //*
7. Abigail //*
8. Joy //*
9. Robyn //*
10. YimQi //*

how did you get to know 7 ?
Band. BESTEST SENIOR EVER.

why do you love 9 ?
cause SHE RAWKS.

on the scale of 1-10, how much do you love 4 ?
10.

what is your relationship with 1 ?
relationship meaning? best friend since last year, classmate, band mate...

who is 5 to you ?
WAHAHAH. the person who was supposed to be my batchmate, but unfortunatly got transferred to Bassoon cause they had a shortage...

why is 2 important to you ?
cause she is. what can you say about it huh?

what do you love most about 8 ?
SHE PLAYS THE OBOE SO WELL. MAKES LEARNING OBOE EVEN BETTER!!!

will you love 3 forever ?
YES!

what will you do to express your love if 6 one day fell from a building ?
FELL FROM A BUILDING?! wow. she isnt that blur is she? ill try to save her, and if i die in the process, then so be it lorh...

do you want to love 10 forever ?
FOREVERFOREVER!!! YESYESYES!

choose 5 people to do this, that you love of course !
hmm. since majority of the people i listed up there probably did it already...
Robyn //*
YimQi //*
Abigail //*
HuiRou //*
YiHui //*

that just about settles it yea? enjoy.

2006-06-18T13:55:00.000+08:00

EXTERMINATION!!! EXTERMINATE ALL THE BUGS IN THE WORLD!!! MORE PESTICIDE!!! EXTERMINATE THE BUGS!!! CALL PEST CONTROL!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

okay. enough madness. i bet i caught it from Melzar. hahah... WAAARHX. i want to crycrycry... and i dont even know why... hahah... i think im just like weird. and crazy... and other synonyms of the word. hahah... i remember the first time i came across the word synonym. that was on 5th Grade Adventures... hahah.. yes i know. i did it when i was in like P3, which is 3rd Grade.. hahah... so funny larh, then after completing it once, i did it over again like 10times or something... anyways. back to the word synonym... can you think of any other synonyms of crazy? tag and tell me kayy? hahah...

2006-06-14T02:32:00.000+08:00

hello blog. im in school using the computer, waiting for my classmate to come and appear for our literature meeting... the script is so nicely DONE! hahah... I SO LOVE IT. its like the bestest project i ever ever ever had. chinese is almost done, we're left with filming... [or fliming in Daniel's terms] hahah... geog, barely started... maths, halfdone... hahah... with just about one and a half more weeks to go, i think im fairing quite well! hahah...

so...

Chinese: left filming! yay! gogogo!
Maths: done answer, left with the funny thing...
Geography: left last 4 steps... JIAYOU!
History: presentation rehearsal went okay yesterday... should be handlable... hahah
Literature: script done, rehearsing and all quite well, left props!

hmm... what im left with isnt very much is it? hahah...

2006-06-13T10:03:00.000+08:00

Anxiety has taken the upper hand in my soul that was once filled with energy and joy. My passionate nature, my immense sensitivity has been impounding on my relationships with others. Some people know my weak points all too well, they often use them and sometimes abuse them.
My behavior today is full of contrasts. I easily slip from calm to impulsive behavior, my sharp reactions are followed by moments of great sorrow. When this happens, it seriously affects me and i think no one can truly understand me. I feel even more vulnerable and isolated from everyone. I have a high level of stress. I am filled with doubts and am convinced i will never find a way out. Often in my life, i took the wrong course, especially during these latest years, when you have accumulated a lot of failures and deceptions. I am in something that resembles a labyrinth, unable to find a way out. I am running in circles, unknowing which course to take, I am confused and run down.This has brought me to the point when i doubt everything, including myself...

I'm just down and out.

2006-06-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

Blogging on Monday for Sunday.

Started off the day in church, where we found out we were supposed to have GYMmeeting on Saturday, but couldnt be contacted due to us driving around... hahah... so. after that we were supposed to go to the zoo, but we couldnt because it was practically raining the whole day... so we ate at some noodle restaurant place and the whole meal costed us like $48... hahah... okay. after that we drove around the Sembawang area, going into all the small roads, looked at some nice houses... i really wish i could stay in one of those!!! ITS LIKE SO NICE!!! hahah... then we ended up at Sembawang End Park... its reallyreallyreally nice!!! [really wouldnt mind living in that area... the roads are like surrounded by trees and all...] then we went past Kranji river... then Woodlands, where we saw the skyline of Johor... [it was around here that my brother snapped my chain that holds my cross... then he pulled it to the back of the car... and i didnt know until i sat there... heeheee... made me panic] after that, we reached the Sungei Buloh area... where we went like across the main road like 6times? going from fish farm, to plant nursery, to another fish farm, to some aerophonics farm, to a place where you can do fishing... hahah... at the last nursery, my siblings picked up 3 frangipani flowers and we stuck them into the little space between the boot and the car... hahah... when we drove off, i was looking to see when they dropped... the centre one dropped first, then the one on the right, then the one on the left. when we were done cruising around, we went to Jurong Point for dinner at KFC. hahah... it was nice revisiting my old home area... went back to Isabella which apparently changed name to Be'Dazzle or something like that... and after that we went home... and reahed home at like 11pm? hahah... then i had to go sleep... so yupps, that was Sunday!!!

2006-06-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

Today... we drove to Telok Blangah where we were supposed to go for a canopy walk, but unfortunately it started raining. so, we ate kuey chap while waiting for the rain to stop. when we found it didnt let up, we decided to go to the museum at Bukit Chandu... it was an interesting experience... we heard about the soldiers who fought in the war... and heard stories of the people who lived in those times... after that, the rain stopped for a while, so we went for the canopy walk... I SAW THREE WOODPECKERS!!! they are like so cute... and then we spotted like 5 squirrels, and while walking back to the car, Daniel and I walked a little slower than everyone else cause he wanted to see squirrels and woodpeckers... so we were searching for those little animals and we SAW A DOVE!!! it was so NICE!!! hahah... okay... anyways. after that we ate abit of roti prata and drank this VERY nice tea... hahah... and then we drove back home...

2006-06-10T12:12:00.000+08:00

Why must she treat us like we have no talents? Why must she take out her anger on us? Why must she be so unreasonable? Why does she expect so much from us?

And yet, what she says sounds logical... after more thought and consideration... what she said sounds quite true... but we are limited... and she should know that. we only have 100% to give, and we've already given that much... i dont see why you have to keep expecting so much of us... im not saying you should give up on us, but in the least bit KNOW that people have limits and dont push people to suicide okay?

YES i AM getting depressed. i used to look forward to these days... i dont see why you have to keep doing the same things to us over and over... its like you are playing with our feelings. either that, or you regard us as having NO feelings. one moment you are in a good mood, joking and happy. and the next you're shouting at people... making them feel useless and everything...

now im just 100% depressed. happy?

2006-06-09T04:28:00.000+08:00

heyy people... check out my new holding blog... http://-mybrainisgone-.blogspot.com hahah... i personally think its brainless. yea. like me.

why do i feel so brainless? do i really not have a brain? i feel as if im exploding... and im hurting EVERYONE around me... its almost as if my whole brain has been destroyed... and up there in my mind its just empty... thats why im so crazy... thats why my mood swings... cause i cant think for myself... and im just swinging between sides... everythings just falling apart... even what i thought had the best foundation... we're like a rose... and apparently it was poisoned... and the petals are just dropping off one by one... its sad to see people leaving... soon enough, we'd just be left with a stalk. nothing but a name. a name, which means nothing, because the people are missing... we need to be strong... we need to hold together... we cant let the poison kill us. we have to suck out the poison, and live once again... lets work together towards that kayy?

2006-06-07T12:55:00.000+08:00

wow. just reading abigail's post about OBS makes me just look forward to next year when we get to go... hahah... sounds like so much fun larh... band tomorrow... wonder what she will say... wonder what mood she will be in... im so scared larh...

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from the sunshine
For the skies they turn to grey.

And I don't worry for the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside him
For he knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining
There no tear will ever dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

so leave it up to God... for I know that he will guide me through tomorrow...

2006-06-07T09:43:00.000+08:00

being high is like the best thing that has EVER happened to me.

i want to eat sweets. i want to drink coffee. i want to be hyperactive. i want to be really truely ALIVE. cause now im not.

anyways. lifes like that aint it?

chinese meeting just now was so failure... half of us were asleep, the other half watching Sims. whatever that is. we didnt DO anything. no sense of accomplishment. sad case yea? anyways. Cheaper By The Dozen II is NICE. hahah... but kinda unbelievable. imagine being like 10-11 years old and getting a boyfriend? ha. it will NEVER ever happen in Singapore... hahah...

Lavendar, Violet, Purple.
Sky Blue, Sea Blue, Deep Blue.
Pink, Fuchsia, Red.
Orange.

life. its supposed to be full of color... what do I see in my life? bleakness. black&white. and thats it. im just living through each day. not knowing about the next day, and not caring either. its almost as if its perpetual RAIN. washing the color off everything... soon enough, it will be down to like. white. but not white as in pure, but white as in... nothing.

btw. today is 060606... hahah.

2006-06-06T12:44:00.000+08:00

hello blog. yesterday was Balloon Hat Festival Day!!!

During the rehearsal in the morning... i almost fainted... cause its like i forgot to eat breakfast... was really scary larh... i felt so weak and everything... so i missed the last part of the rehearsal... felt so bad sitting there... my section mates were like forcing me to eat... i felt so bloated after that...

anyways. BHF was funfunfun! hot but fun. our sitdown performance... dad said that we were softer than the background music... couldnt be heard properly... sadsadsad :'( WORST THING EVER --> we didnt bring the score for Little Mermaid Medley. and she played it. and we almost DIED. there was a SOLO. luckily we sortof memorised it... heeheee... anyway, the rest of the songs went okay apart from a little rushing due to the WEIRD beat from the background music... the seriously annoying beat wasnt played as many times today, so we didnt really have to suffer under that... yea...

the march was fun. we got the footwork messed up as usual, but we had fun, and thats all that matters... the last part of balloon hat festival was scary. we actually had to burst all the balloon hats that we made... HUGE mess made of the beach [wonder how they are going to clear that up...] scary larh, when you burst the balloon, then all the sand fly up and hit your leg. PAIN LARH. then i dun dare to burst anymore... hahah...

BUT as usual, life was being unfair to me. while i suffered in the heat, the rest of my family were playing LUGE. UNFAIR? YES. then. i had a $3.10 dinner. they had a $100-over dollar dinner AT STEWARDS/STEWORDS whatever its called. the restaurant on the boat thingy? yea. HMMPH. so angry larh. THE WORST THING. WHILE THEY WERE ENJOYING THEIR $100-dollar dinner, I WAS SITTING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE STONING. FOR 2 WHOLE HOURS. 9pm-11pm. i was locked out. sad can? if i hadnt eaten... i would have been there from like 7.30 to 11. DIE of boredom+starvation man.

2006-06-04T10:08:00.000+08:00

songs that are filling my mind:

-The Witch and the Saint
-Miss Saigon
-As The Deer
-God Will Make A Way
-Touching Heaven, Changing Earth

well, thats currently... hahah... music rawks...

2006-06-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

script, props, aluminium foil, balloons...
fill my mind, stuff my head
5 projects, so little time
sometimes i wish that i were dead

okay... not literally, but it has to rhyme you see... anyways... i love poetry, they just dont always come out okay... hahah... im going to try again... see you soon!